Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind

A Pat on the Back

2012-02-14T05:13:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

In life, it's easy to look at the things you don't have. It's easy to become envious of the things others have that you wish you could have too. As a result, it can be difficult to celebrate others accomplishments. It's even easy to become a little jealous and angry when you see others succeed. Although it's easy to live life this way, it's really no way to go about life.

You should celebrate the accomplishments of others, not become envious because they have accomplished something you haven't. It takes hard work to reach certain milestones in life. Some people reach those milestones before others, but that doesn't mean they won't happen for you at some point too.

Just because you haven't reached that milestone yet, doesn't mean you won't. If you haven't gotten to that point in your life yet, sit back and look at what you're doing. How can you get to that point too? What might be slowing your progress? Make a new path for yourself to achieve that goal. You can accomplish anything you set your mind too, even if it might take a little longer for you than it does for others.

There's no reason to become envious of others. You can accomplish the exact same things with a little extra work. So, don't hold the accomplishments of others against them. Instead, celebrate what othes have accomplished, and they will be there to celebrate your accomplishments as well. If you're there to give someone a pat on the back when they do good, they will be there to give you a pat on the back when you do good.

Yes, it can be hard to celebrate others accomplishments, especially when things aren't going so well for you. But, if you dwell on what others have accomplished, it will make your situation in life so much harder to overcome.

Take time to celebrate the important milestones of those close to you. The positive energy is far more important and enjoyable that the negative energy that comes with being envious.

A Moment to Ponder: Rosemarie Rossetti

2012-02-13T09:06:00.000-08:00

Here's today's moment to ponder:

“It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments. Share your achievements with others. Brag a little. The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing.”
Rosemarie Rossetti

Life is hard, and sometimes it can be difficult to look past your daily struggles to see what you've accomplished. Although it can be difficult, it's important to take time to recognize and celebrate your accomplishments because it makes moving past the difficult times in life so much easier. When you take the time to celebrate your accomplishments, it makes life that much easier and you're able to see that life really isn't that bad. There's a lot more good in life that certainly out weights the bad.

What does this quote mean to you? Do you celebrate your achievements?

Another Birthday & Life Lessons

2012-02-03T05:19:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

Last week, my middle son turned five years old. Before my son was even born, he become the definition of never knowing what life has in store for you. When we learned I was pregnant with my son, it came as quite a surprise because we weren't really ready for another child. As it turns out, that wasn't the first surprise we would have in store for us as my son came into the world. He forced his way into the world earlier than expected, and came in a hurry. Yet again, another surprise. When my son was born, he wasn't the perfect child everyone dreams of-- he was born with a defect, but nonetheless, he was perfect to us. Yes, another surprise.

My son's birth defect has led us on an insane journey of diagnosis, misdiagnosis and sleepless nights, even more surprises we hadn't prepared for. When we least expect it, my son always surprises us with a sudden emergency room trip because he's ALL boy and very accident prone.

Although my son keeps us on our toes and is always throwing surprises and curve balls at us, I wouldn't have it any other way because he really is the happiest child I have ever met. He is naturally happy, and the way he views the world is something I wish I could do.

There's certainly never a dull moment with my son around. Even though I'm supposed to be the one teaching my children life lessons, they are constantly teaching me them instead. Just because you're a grown up and have been alive longer, doesn't mean you know everything.

Everyday I learn from my children, in ways I didn't know were possible.
Aly
What have you learned from your children?

A Moment to Ponder: Arnold Bennett

2012-02-02T05:13:00.000-08:00

Here's today's moment to ponder:

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. --Arnold Bennett

Nothing in life is easy. You can't avoid change because you're afraid of the unknown. Nothing will ever go exactly according to plan, but you can't let that stop you from moving forward. You just have to take it one step at a time.

What does this quote mean to you?

A Moment to Ponder: Bits and Pieces

2012-01-31T05:03:00.000-08:00

Here's today's moment to ponder:

“Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It’s a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don’t have. It’s so simple-yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend.” --Bits and Pieces

It took me a long time to realize the importance of the message in this quote, but it's very true. Happiness doesn't come from materialistic objects. Happiness comes from within yourself. All the money in the world can't buy happiness or love and respect for yourself. You and you alone are the only person capable of making yourself happy.

What does this quote mean to you?

Proof You Can Live Up to Your Potential in Life

2012-01-30T05:37:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

I've mentioned before that I believe everyone is born with a purpose or potential in life. Most people aren't aware of their full potential or take the wrong path than the one they should be on to fulfill their purpose in life. It can be difficult to realize your life's potential, but if everyone took the time to evaluate just what they are supposed to accomplish with their life, the world would be a much better place.

Recently, I met a man who proves that you can live up to your potential in life, and change lives in the process. Lepolia West is a man who proves you can live up to your life's potential, even if you aren't aware you have one. Lepolia West is a former Chicago Police officer, and while serving the department, an abandoned infant came into the hospital West had been working at as a second job. West didn't even want children, but something about this infant compelled him to want to become the infant's father. Eventually, he came to realize, this child had come into his life for a reason. His life's mission was to become the father this baby needed.

Although West had an extreme passion to become the boy's father, it wasn't easy because he was a police officer, which is a very dangerous career choice, and he was a bachelor. At the time, bachelors just weren't adoptive parent material. But, West didn't care he was fighting an impossible battle. He knew he was supposed to be the boy's father, and he wasn't going to give up-- even with the odds against him.

West's determination eventually paid off, and he not only adopted the child, but became the first bachelor in Illinois to adopt. Now, West is determined to inspire adoptions, to changes lives around the world.

West's story proves every life has a potential, and you can live up to your potential in life, even when the odds are against you. Because West lived up to his potential in life, he changed the abandoned infant's life, the infant changed West's life, and now West is determined to help others change even more lives.

Imagine a world where everyone lived up to their potential in life. It just takes one person to start the cycle for changing the world into a better place, and West's story proves it.

If you haven't done so already, I highly recommend reading Lepolia West's book, "Officer, why don't you adopt him?" This book depicts the true and suspenseful details surround West's struggle to adopt the infant.

You can learn more about Lepolia West and his story at www.officerleewest.com

You can also follow Lepolia West on Facebook, Twitter and Google +

A Moment to Ponder: Maria Robinson

2012-01-26T05:38:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

Here's today's moment to ponder:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
Maria Robinson

This is an easy one for me. You can't change the past, only the future. The past doesn't matter, even if it's riddled with mistakes. The only thing that matters is the future, and the only way to achieve the future you desire, is to take the initiative today to make that future possible.

What does this quote mean to you?

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Giving without Receiving

2012-01-25T05:34:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

I was raised with the belief that you should help others without being asked, and help others without asking for anything in return. Some people struggle with this concept, but I don't. What's so hard about giving without receiving? What's so hard about simple acts of kindness just to make some one's life easier without expecting some grand gesture in return?

Giving without receiving is great for feeling content with yourself, as well as the person on the receiving end of your act of kindness. If more people gave without expecting anything in return society would be a much kinder place. We could actually get back to the point where we could trust our neighbor.

Many people feel they should only help out when they are asked, or when there's something to be gained from their effort, but this shouldn't be the case. There are always moments of opportunity to give back, even when it isn't asked for and nothing will be gained from it-- other than a smile.

There are many ways you can give back to someone, they don't need to be big grand gestures. lending an ear to a troubled friend or stranger is a start. Cooking dinner for someone you know when they are going through a difficult time, bringing in your neighbor's trash can, not just because you don't wan to look at i,t but because you want to do it to be nice, or holding the door open for the family juggling their young children are all simple ways you can give back.

Giving without receiving often becomes contagious. Do something nice for someone to brighten their day, and they are likely to return the favor. If enough people begin to give back to the world, overtime, it will have a ripple effect throughout society. I don't know about you, but a future where others help people just because they can and don't want anything in return seems like a promising future to me.

So take a minute each day to help someone out. It doesn't need to be a grand gesture, but just a simple act of kindness, like returning someones shopping cart to the shopping cart caddy. It won't take much, but I'm sure your act of kindness will be a highlight of the receiving person's day.

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A Moment to Ponder: James Dean

2012-01-24T05:27:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

Today's moment to ponder:

“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”
James Dean

To me, this short little sentence means that your life is never complete. You can always achieve more. As long as you're still breathing, you should strive to live up to your life's potential. Don't hold off on following your dreams because tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

What does this quote mean to you?

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Corruption Lies Within Yourself

2012-01-23T05:24:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

The way we are raised plays a large role in who we become when we grow up, but it doesn't set our fate in stone. Throughout our lives we change. Who we were as children, our morals and values, can change due to situations in life or simply by making the choice to change our beliefs. You may be raised with poor morals and values, but you can make the choice to change these factors to become a better person, to improve the world we live in. You can be raised with good morals and values, but lose them overtime, changing the good person you once were. You can blame these changes that have occurred on others, but most often the corruption lies within yourself.

For some reason, people who once carried good morals and values become corrupt. The morals and values that were instilled within them from an early age fade away and are replaced with lies, ungratefulness, deceit, and a level of conviction that shadow over who they are inside, causing the face they show to the world to be ugly and untrustworthy.

It can be difficult to see the true person with good morals and values lying inside the outer core of carelessness. Sometimes, the person that has corrupted their self may not be aware they are no longer fooling anyone, but it's just another lie they end up telling the world, maybe to satisfy their own needs or inadequacies.

At times, it may seem like all hope has been lost, and the new person that has emerged from the once pure sole has devoured the goodness inside, but it isn't always the case. A person has to realize the corruption lies within, and the only way for the good inside to resurface is to consciously make the choice to embrace the morals and values that were once instilled within them. No one can force them to make these changes. The person must decide to suffocate their toxic behavior or the selfishness that's present will continue to remain. The person may never become aware that they are their own poison, which is a sad reality to face, but it's simply what it is.

You can't force change onto people, but you do have options. You can either decide to drown in the fumes of their toxicity, or you can accept the individual for who they are and remain hopeful they may one day return to the goodness you once knew.

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Ready for another awesome year!

2012-01-04T08:22:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

With 2011 now behind us, I'm ready for another awesome year. I knew 2011 was going to be a great year, but I didn't know it would bring so many awesome changes to my life and my family. When we started 2011, we went from being a family 0f 4 to a family of 6 in just a few short months. Of course, this was a wonderful thing, but I wasn't sure how I was going to juggle 4 kids. Now, I can say, even though it was chaotic at first, our family is complete, and I couldn't imagine life any other way.

After seven years, the relationship I have with my husband has really blossomed this year. Our confidence and contentment with each other has grown tremendously, as well as the bond we share with one another and our children. I'm so grateful we've been able to establish such a wonderful relationship, and I look forward to what the future brings us.

I've watched my children go through so many positive changes this past year. My daughter's self esteem and confidence has grown tremendously, as well as her academic ability. My oldest son, once social awkward, has come out of his shell and seems to be very content with the fact he's a little "different" than the mainstream. My middle son has gone from being the baby in the family, to an independent and happy preschooler. My youngest really enjoys his role as the baby in the family, and I loved every second of watching his personality develop.

2011 was an awesome year for my writing career. It really took off! It kind of caught me off guard how quickly it took off this year, even though I had been expecting it all along.

2011 brought changes for myself as well. I have become much more confident with who I am and where I am headed in life. I feel I've continued to mature beyond my years, and even though I feel like I am 40 sometimes and not 24, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Each year I become more and more satisfied with the choices of my past. Even though they weren't ideal decisions, they've gotten me to where I am today and I wouldn't change a thing.

Your attitude in life is a huge indicator of what will transpire for you. I started the year out positive, and had an incredible year. I'm starting 2012 out the exact same way, and I know it's going to be another great year.

How was your year? What does 2012 hold for you?

Guest Post: Getting the balance right

2011-12-22T06:34:00.000-08:00

Life is not always easy to get right! We only get one chance, and it is often the way that we spend our time doing things we wish we weren’t; so how do we get the most out of our time when we need to earn money to survive?

We all need to earn money somehow in order to support our lifestyles, and he amount depends on the amount we need to pay out. Some people enjoy the materialistic things in life, and therefore need to earn large amounts of money in order to pay for this. Others are happier with a simpler life, but still need to earn a certain amount to keep food on the table. One of the most important things to consider, is what are you going to be spending the most amount of time doing? Choosing a career that you enjoy doing is part of the battle. If you are an animal lover, and nothing would give you more pleasure than working with animals all day every day, then maybe it is worth doing a job like this even if it has less pay than another job.

There is nothing worse and more depressing for people over time, than spending day after day working in a job they hate. It leads to all sorts of stress problems and is just not what you want to end up doing. Understandably this is the way things work out sometimes, as there is no getting away from needing to pay the rent and pay for other necessities, and unfortunately not everyone can get their dream job.

If this is the case, you need to be able to balance your time and your mind well in order to fully enjoy your time away from work. If you struggle to switch off, and have a stressful job, then it is all too easy to let this affect your home life; this is when people become most unhappy. If you are able to separate work issues from home life then you will eliminate the amount of time you feel stressed out by a large amount.

Another thing that will reduce stress levels is to try and view things in a more positive way. For instance; if you have to dig a long trench, you could spend all day thinking about how much you dislike the task in hand, and you will have a miserable time doing it. But if you change your attitude and think, well I have to dig the trench, but it will get me a little fitter, and it does let me spend a day outside in the fresh air; then you will spend the day in a more positive mood and it won’t seem as bad. This can be practiced in all sorts of situations, and makes a big difference.

About the Author

This guest post was written by freelance writer and designer Abigail. She has her own blog and website which was created using an easy website builder.

Guest Post: Rise Above It

2011-12-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

It is all too easy in life to let others around you bring you down. It is important for your happiness and health to ensure that you can rise above others attitudes, actions and words in order to live a happy life. Stress is one of the biggest health issues facing people these days, and the way society is going, this is only going to get worse. We all have to be careful about letting stressful situations get the better of us, and letting these things build up. Being in a stressful job can affect all areas of life especially if you are unable to let go of these thing s when you leave the workplace; learning to relax and be stress free could have a hugely positive effect on your life.

We all know what it feels like to be consumed by stressful situations, and if this is getting too much for you to cope with then you need to make a change in your life. It is not always possible to change our circumstances, but what we do all have control of is our minds. The power of the mind is extremely underrated by many and it is only once you realize this that you can begin to make positive changes.

There are many different techniques that people use to get results, and different ways suit different people. The common theme in all self help attitude mantras is the fact that as soon as you realize that you can change the way you view situations, and control the effect they have on you, you can start to look at everything in a positive light.

It is not always easy to do, but if someone is giving you a hard time at work or is being horrible to you, the best solution is to act with poise and dignity and not get drawn into acting as they are. This is very hard to do sometimes, but good things that come out of doing this are that you will be acting in a way that you are happy with. Nobody wants to look back on their day or week and think that they have spent most of it retaliating to nasty comments, or acting in a bad way towards others even if it may be considered justified. Acting in a positive manor leaves you feeling good about yourself.

This applies to all aspects of life. If you strive to be the best person you can, and you are always conscious of this, it gives you a great feeling inside, and reduces stress levels tremendously. Gandhi once said “we must be the change that you want to see in the world,” and it is a very good thing to think about.

About the Author

This guest post was written by freelance writer Abigail. She has written about many topics including Royal Bank credit cards and the Bank of Montreal credit card.

Paying for your Mistakes

2011-12-06T06:15:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

Let's face, not every pregnancy is perfect, and not every birth is perfect. There are many things that can go wrong, which are often unpredictable. As a result, the baby you thought was going to be the happy, healthy bundle of joy you were expecting is born with some difficulties. Although, many times this happens without any cause, it's just something that happens, other times these complications are somewhat expected when a mother makes poor choices while they are carrying a child.

It makes no sense to me, how women aren't willing to sacrifice their body and destructive lifestyles for 9 months, and as a result, an innocent child ends up suffering, sometimes, life long complications because of their mother's selfishness. And, what really gets me, is afterwards the mother expects you to feel sorry for the situation they are in. Maybe it's just me, but I don't feel sorry for the mother, but the baby, who had no choice in the situation and is now left with struggles they never should have experienced. And in the end, it just makes me want to yell at the mother, who acts surprised by the baby's situation.

Did you really think your baby was going to be fine as you puffed away like a chimney for the past 9 months? You didn't expect the baby to suffer any consequences as you sucked down all that alcohol? It's not like we live in a time that lacks easily accessible information. The results of what can happen to a baby if you make poor choices are common knowledge. You know what can and probably will happen should you make these choices while pregnant, and then you expect sympathy in return?

Call me heartless if you'd like, but no, I don't feel sorry for the mother, but the baby, who was just the innocent pawn. Which leaves me thinking, the mother doesn't deserve that baby if she couldn't make necessary sacrifices before the child was even born.

So, don't come crying to me about how hard it is to raise a baby with special needs, when you're the cause of it. In my opinion, the mother should be punished for the baby suffering, but unfortunately, even the harshest of punishments will never be enough to give that baby the start he deserved.

Am I being judgmental? Absolutely! Don't let your reckless behavior harm your child before he even takes his first breath.

Guest Post: Can’t Forget Your Ex? Maybe you don’t have to

2011-12-02T05:25:00.000-08:00

by Izzy Woods

Your ex. You might have left them long behind, or it may only be a few months since you split. Either way, if you’re still thinking about them you needn’t beat yourself up about it.

When someone has played an important role in your life it can be hard to shut them out, just like that. And actually, if you find you’re able to switch off from people so easily, perhaps that shows a more worrying trait than not being able to forget about them at all.

Human beings are social creatures, most of us crave attention, want to be acknowledged, and enjoy being a part of a relationship. If that relationship has come to an end but you still find yourself thinking about your ex, don’t get annoyed with yourself for doing so. The most important thing is that these thoughts are manageable, and they don’t start to rule your life.

Someone special

At some point in our lives we will usually go through a relationship break-up. Hopefully there won’t be too many of these and you’ll be lucky enough to find ‘the one’ without going through an endless process of relationship meltdowns.

However, even if you’ve moved on and are in a happy and fulfilling relationship, it’s not unusual for thoughts of an ex to flit through your mind. Perhaps they were your ‘first love’ – the person you fell hopelessly head over heels with when you were 16 and somehow can’t quite forget them - even if you do realise you could never really be together.

First love is something extremely special, but as we grow older and move on to more adult relationships, it can often be clear to see why that first love didn’t last the distance. Still, just because you can see all the flaws and reasons why it didn’t and wouldn’t work, it can be hard to forget your first relationship. After all, this was probably at a time of heightened emotion. If you were a teenager during your first love all sorts of emotions and feelings would have been running around your mind. Your first love is a symbol of something new and exciting – you probably did things with your first love that you’d never done before. And whether it burnt out quickly or lasted years, that first love will always be something special so if you happen to find yourself trawling Facebook for him or her, don’t think you’re the only one out there doing it.

However, try and keep this first love in perspective – especially if you’re in a relationship now. Yes, you might long for those exciting, dizzy days of your youth but reconnecting with an old flame probably won’t rekindle all those emotions. Why? Because you’re not a 16-year-old hormone-raddled teenager. And for that you can breathe a sigh of relief!

Learn from your mistakes and move on

If you’ve recently come out of a relationship don’t chastise yourself because you find yourself thinking about your ex. Why? Because it doesn’t have to be all bad.

Ok, if you’re spending too much time moping over old pictures, eating way too much chocolate and ice cream, and sitting by the phone hoping s/he’ll call, you’re not going to be doing yourself any favors.

So turn this time into a positive and start addressing what went wrong in the relationship. Look at your exes’ flaws – list them down – go on, be ruthless (no one need read it except you). You should soon be able to see the reasons why your relationship came to a close – and however down you are – you should see that it takes two to create a breakdown and you certainly won’t be the sole person to blame.

Now you’ve thought long and hard about why your last relationship didn’t work out, you should be able to move on and start thinking about potential new partners. What qualities would you like them to have that your ex didn’t have? How do you think you would better fit in with that sort of person? Have you dated a person with similar qualities in the past, if so think back to that relationship and consider how things could have worked better.

A work in progress

Ultimately, relationships take time. You might fall in love at first sight but in order to keep that love alive you’ll need to put in a great deal of time and effort. A relationship is a work in progress – so work at it and use your past experiences to your advantage.

About the Author:
Izzy Woods is a London-based freelance writer. She writes for a plethora of interesting clients, including Princess Cruises and several foodie blogs.

Positive People in Your Life

2011-12-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

The people you allow in your life are large contributors to the life you live. If you surround yourself with people who share the same morals, values and beliefs as you, you're more likely to remain on a positive path-- content with your life. However, if you surround yourself with negative people, who are lets say, bad influences, your much more likely to have unwanted drama and obstacles in your life. By having positive people in your life, the relationships you maintain with them will make your life the best it can be.

I've said it before, positive actions produce positive results. The same goes for the people in your life. Surrounding yourself with positive people in your life will produce positive results, that are sure to cause a ripple affect throughout your life and how you live it.

Positive people can take many forms, but they shouldn't cause you any distress or unnecessary headache. If the people in your life cause you to suffer in anyway or feel negative towards situations in life, they aren't good people to surround yourself with.

You need to surround yourself with people who help you grow as a person by offering nonjudgmental support. Positive people in your life care about you and your success in life without expecting anything in return, other than the same support.

I encourage you to evaluate who you surround yourself with. Some relationships just aren't worth maintaining, so choose wisely. Make sure your life consists of positive people to make the most of the life you're living.

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Guest Post: Living Life Without Regrets

2011-11-29T05:26:00.000-08:00

We hear people say it all the time: "I don't have any regrets" If you are anything like me, then your reaction to such an assertion is complex. I mean, is it really possible to live life without regrets? And if you REALLY have no regrets, are you living life to the fullest? Also, where is the line between a mistake and a regret (because, I don't care what anyone says, we ALL make mistakes)? The last time I heard someone, once again, brag about the whole "no regrets" thing, I was inspired to do a little research, and a lot of deep thinking, to wrap mind around the concept of living life without regrets. Here's what I came up with.

Life isn't perfect. This is a big, "duh," I know. But doesn't having no regrets imply that you've lived your life perfectly? Not necessarily. Really, regret (or the lack thereof) is not about having everything in your life work out the way you want it to. Regret is all about your attitude, which brings us to the next point.

The right attitude. What I found is that people who claim to have no regrets have made many mistakes, experienced many hardships, and stumbled many times along this unpredictable journey we call life. The one thing that enables them to move forward without the burden of regret is an attitude of acceptance. All of the adversity, sad times, pitfalls and otherwise seemingly negative experiences we have in life are actually opportunities to learn and grow. Therefore, it is pointless to regret that which has helped mold you into a better person. But what if you don't learn from your mistakes? Well, read on.

The commitment. An integral part of living without regret is making a commitment to consciously, proactively choose what you feel are the best, most "right" decisions you can make. It is not enough to accept that life is hard and that you will inevitably make mistakes. You must also be able to say that you did the best you could. Living recklessly and haphazardly is a sure source of regret; living a life of integrity is a cure for regret. When you can say, "Well, it didn't work out the way I'd hoped, but I know I gave it my all and had the best of intentions," you have nothing to regret, because you really could not have done any better.

Is it possible to live without regret? Sure. Is it easy? Like most things in life that are worth having, it is not. Fortunately, living without regret is not a birthright, or a stroke of luck. It is a virtue, and you can develop it so that you, too, can say your life is free of regret.

About the Author: Stanford Sypniewski is a writer and philosopher who enjoys talking about life with others. He also works with human resource departments to find finance recruitment companies who can help them fill their staffing needs.

Couldn't have said it better myself....

2011-11-17T06:54:00.000-08:00

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

Charles R. Swindoll

Wounds from Your Past

2011-11-15T05:00:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

There are certain moments in your life, some big and some small, that leave you wounded. Even after those wounds have healed, the scars are left, leaving a permanent impact on who you are. Often, these wounds from your past go unnoticed but play a huge role in who you are and how you live your life. Often, when we least expect it, these scars reappear and are often the force behind why you make some the choices in life. Although it's hard, you can overcome these wounds from your past and allow the scars to fully heal, changing yourself and your life in the process.

The first step to overcoming these wounds, is to realize they are there and what caused them. Taking the time to evaluate how these wounds play a role in your life, even years after they have occurred, allows you to set forth a path to move past them.

Wounds from your past don't have to control your life or define you. After you allow these wounds to fully heal and choose to let go, the scars left behind will continue to fade until they are no longer a blemish on your existence.

Walk a Mile

2011-11-10T05:59:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

One thing I've noticed, is people are always so quick to judge others. I know I'm guilty of this myself at times, but for the most part, I try to keep an open mind. However, there are people who feel the need to tear other people to shreds when they don't agree with a person's actions or choices in life. It's important to remember, your way isn't always right and neither is your opinion. Until you've walked a mile in some one's shoes, don't pass judgment on them because you never know, you may have done the exact same thing if you were in their shoes, despite claiming otherwise.

Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind- Another Book Update Plus a Surprise

2011-11-08T05:40:00.000-08:00

by Alyssa Ast

Well, I'm sorry to report the Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind book is on hold once again. My schedule is completely full, and I have no time to work on it at all. I really want it finished, but right now my schedule just doesn't permit it. The book is sitting in the exact same spot as it has been since the last time I updated you all.

I know many of you have been waiting for my book to release, and I hate to disappoint you all, so here's a small exert from the book:

Who we are and what we are meant to do with our lives is instilled within us from birth. However, as we develop, we lose the childhood ability to know who we truly are. Why we lose ourselves as we grow is unknown, but I believe it has to do with our surroundings and influences in life. As we try to adapt to our surroundings and try to conform to what life and our peers expect us to be, we begin to lose tiny pieces of our true selves until we become unrecognizable to even ourselves.

During adolescents, the niaveness of our mind’s allow us to believe we know who we are, but this isn’t so. Life is about letting go of who and what we believe ourselves to be and getting to know the real us. Discovering who we truly are in life is a bumpy road full of twists and turns. Often, we don’t realize who we truly are and what we’re meant to be in life because we don’t pause to self reflect.

Through self reflection, you can truly discover the real you. You can learn who you were born to be and your purpose in life. The answer about what your life means isn’t unknown, the answer lies within yourself. The ability to stop and recognize the answer can only be unlocked by discovering who you truly are through experiencing life and learning from your mistakes, while letting go of your past.

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Guest Post: Reducing Stress During the Holidays

2011-10-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

The holidays are a time of immense joy and immense stress. Between shopping, wrapping, parties, guests and paying for all of it, it can make you want to go to bed and stay there till Valentine's Day. It's harder if you don't have people to spend the holiday with. Since a two month nap is probably not a viable option for most people, learning how to deal with your stress is the next best thing and is important to your overall good health.

Organization

Organization is key to being able to get things done on time and in full. Making a list of presents, as well as your budget for each person or family is a good first step. Noting your obligations on a calendar will allow you to not accidentally over-extend yourself. If you need child care or elder-care for your social obligations, this might be a good time for you to get a backup list of sitters started. This also permits you to set appropriate expectations. It doesn't have to be like the perfect Christmas 14 years ago, it can be a nice day or time period in its own right.

Don't Overdo Yourself

During these two months every year, it can seem like everyone wants you to do something. Volunteer, host a party, help with this, help with that, show up there - it can become overwhelming. There is a very important word to learn and practice. That word is no, and it's okay to use it. You don't have to do everything for everybody, you just have to do everything for yourself and the people you choose to help.

Relax

Relaxing is an important part of of reducing stress. Even when it seems like there is no time for anything else, take some time to just do what you want. When you come back to your list of projects, you may find that you have more energy and creativity anyway.

You've Done All You Can

Depression during the holiday season is unfortunately very common. If you feel like you can't do any more, and your stress is overwhelming, it may be time to seek medical assistance. Depression and stress or anxiety disorders are very real and some people may need professional help to get through this time period.

The holiday season is full of hustle and bustle, as well as long days and frustrations. It's important to remember that if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else either.

About the Author:
Dona Collins is an avid writer with a passion for planning, stress management, and health. She frequently writes career guides for various jobs in healthcare and enjoys helping individuals discover potential work paths.

Interested in writing a guest post for Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind? Email alyssa_ast@yahoo.com for more details!

Just the Innocent Pawns

2011-10-18T07:25:00.001-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

I don't understand the majority of my generation and their parenting tactics. Those who decide to reproduce, yet don't want to take on the role of actually parenting their children. They aren't willing to sacrifice their previous life to better their self for the sake of their children. As a result, the children end up suffering for their parents' actions because lets face it, in the eyes of many parents my age, their children are just the innocent pawns.

But children are so much more than innocent pawns, they are our future. Children certainly deserve more than the parents they are dealt sometimes, but society deserves more also. Because many parents lack the capability to put their children and the future ahead of their own wants and needs, their actions are put down onto us, to pick up the broken pieces of the home they left behind as a result of their lack of parenting.

Children don't deserve this. They deserve homes where they are loved, nurtured and provided a promising future, which is also a promising future for society. Our children are the world's future, and if we throw broken and damaged children out into the world, what will that mean for our future? Nothing but shambles and a slow progress to make the world a better place.

For every action, there is a reaction, not just directly in the broken homes of these children, but in everyone's home as there's a ripple affect throughout humanity due to these repeat actions of people who aren't willing to be the parent their child and society deserves. But instead, the children remain just innocent pawns in their eyes.

My children mean the world to me, and I don't mind letting my previous life slip away as I become the mother my children and society deserve. My former self hated children and didn't want to have children, yet 7 years later, here I am with 4 kids, and I wouldn't change a thing. This new me that once cringed at the thought of having to be around children, now empathizes and aches when I see a child being treated unjustly. It breaks by heart and physically causes my body pain when I know there's a child out there not receiving what they deserve. If I could, I would grab each and every one of those children and take them home with me to give them the life they deserve. But as my brother says, "You can't save them all." And he's right. I can't save them all, but I sure wish I could.

So here's my message people and my plea to my generation:

If you find yourself pregnant and aren't willing to be that parent your child deserves, there are other options. There are thousands of families waiting to have children of their own, but just can't. Do your child a favor and give them to a home where they will be loved and nurtured like they should be. Save your child and society the pain of having to cope with your inability to be the best parent you can be. Put your child first, even if that means, they aren't with you.

What are you grateful for?

2011-09-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. ~~~Brian Tracy

Nowadays, it can be difficult to find things to be grateful for, as times are tough and families across the country are struggling. But, even when times are hard and the future may seem dire, you can always find a reason to be grateful. Taking the time to acknowledge one thing you're grateful for each day makes the day seem brighter and a better future possible. Note that great thing you have in your life and hold onto it for the day.

There are so many reasons to be grateful in life. Here are a few of the things I'm grateful for today in a random order:

1. I'm very grateful for my husband's job. It may not be the career he wants or the best occupation in the world, but at least it's a job, which so many families are struggling to find during current times.

2. I'm very grateful for my career. I get to do what I love everyday, while staying home with the kids. It may be crazy from time to time, and there's often not enough hours in the day, but I'm lucky to be able to do what I do.

3. I'm very grateful for my 4 children. They can be a handful, but they make every day worth living and never fail to get me smiling when I need it the most. Plus, I receive an abundance of hugs every day.

4. I'm very grateful for everyone in my life--all of my family and friends. They are all an amazing support system, and I don't know how I could go through life without them.

5. I'm very grateful to have the life I do. I'm able to provide my children with a stable and safe environment to help them grow into successful adults.
What are some things you are grateful for?

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What If...

2011-09-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

Life is full of "what ifs." What if I did this? What if I hadn't done that? You can't let the what ifs in life hold you back. You have to take risks in order to go anywhere. You can't let your fear of the unknown keep you standing in one spot. There are a lot of what ifs that can happen, some may be good and some may be bad. That's life. You can't just stand there wondering about what could happen or what could be. The only way you will know the answer to the what ifs, is by going out there and doing something about it. You set your course in life and dwelling on the what ifs will only hinder your ability to do anything great with your future.

Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind- Book Update

2011-09-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I know I said it would be published in August, and August has come and gone and it isn't out yet. I just didn't feel comfortable publishing it as it was. Something just didn't feel right, so I went back through it and made some changes. I added 20 more pages to the Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind book and I'm so pleased that I did. It now feels right-- it now feels complete. I'm beyond satisfied with the way it has turned out and I WILL be publishing it within the next few months.

I don't want to rush and push myself to publish it because I want everything to be perfect. Right now it's being edited, which should be completed within the next couple of weeks. I will be doing the formatting shortly after, and a set in stone release date should follow.

I have big things planned for the release date so hang in there with me because I promise, you won't be disappointed with the final product.

Oh, and in case you didn't know, you can now follow Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind on Facebook!

How Did I Get So Lucky?

2011-09-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change. ~~~Barbara de Angelis

I look around at my life a wonder, how did I get so lucky? Every where I turn, there's something in my life to be grateful for, and it just seems to get better each and every day. There isn't a thing in my life I would change...well, maybe a little more money but other than that I'm content with where my life is at. I look back on the past 7 years and see the progress my husband and I have made to get to where we are at in life, and I just can't believe how lucky we are. But then I realize, luck has nothing to do with it. We created the life we are living with the choices we've made.

It's no secret I was a teen mother, and that of course means we were completely unprepared for what it took to raise children, both financially and maturity wise. But, we quickly learned we had to make big changes in life in order to provide our children with the life they deserved. Those choices we made to better ourselves for our children have worked out perfectly. We were basically dubbed to fail, and while we had a rough start getting going, I would say we are far from failures and have accomplished a better life than we ever expected.

I look around and see our 4 beautiful, happy children, and while 4 children weren't in our life's plan, I couldn't imagine my life without any of them. And while all parents say this, they really are the best kids any parent could ask for. I get to do what I love for a career , which is growing faster than I ever imagined. My husband is quickly moving up in the company he works for and things will only get better.

The miscellaneous little critters that keep following us home, really make this place feel like home. Although life is very chaotic, there isn't a thing I would change. Luck has nothing to do with it. We are in control of our own future. We are the reason we ended up so lucky in life. If today were to be my last day on Earth, I can look back and say with 100% certainty, I've lived a fulfilled, successful and content life.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

2011-09-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

There are certain topics I just choose not to discuss because many people feel their opinions and beliefs are the only answer possible. It's either their way or no way at all. People who don't share the beliefs of others often look down their nose to others, and won't hesitate to criticize or belittle others for having a different opinion other than their own. For this reason, I avoid discussing religion and politics at all cost because people won't hesitate to scrutinize you should your opinions and beliefs differ from theirs. But it doesn't just end there. Bottle or breastfeed? Rear facing car seats or forward facing car seats? Processed foods or unprocessed foods? There are thousands of topics people can share different opinions about and thousands of opportunities for others to bash people who don't agree with them, but that doesn't mean you should.

One great thing about being human is we all have the ability of free will. We have the intellectual ability to formulate our own beliefs and opinions on matters big and small. We are always taught to stand up for what we believe in and to be proud of those beliefs and opinions. But there's a right way and wrong way to go about it. When someone shares a different opinion than yours, it's their right to use the gifts they were given in life to have that opinion. Just because their opinion isn't the same as yours, doesn't make it wrong. Just as your beliefs don't make you right.

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions despite those of others. When someone shares a different belief than you, keep an open mind because your belief isn't necessarily right either. There's no need to bash others for viewing things differently than you. You're able to defend your beliefs and state your opinions in a diplomatic manner that doesn't criticize or devalue others' beliefs.

Next time you have a difference of opinions, bite your tongue and think before you speak. You may think someone is wrong, but they may think you're wrong also. No one is absolutely right. There are two sides to every story, and just because you believe your's is true, that doesn't mean it is. Belittling others because their views are different is just childish. We aren't in high school anymore people. Why can't we all just get along?

Have consideration for your fellow humans and learn to keep an open mind.

Don't forget to follow Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind on Facebook for the latest news regarding the release of the book!

Remove the Stress from Your Life

2011-08-24T06:13:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

Over the past several weeks, I've come to discover the importance of living a stress free life. Stress not only brings you down, but brings those around you down as well. Stress is certainly contagious. When you're around someone who is stressed out, the stress and negativity omitted from their body begins to cling to you, causing you to become stressed out and negative. This stress can have consequences in multiple areas of your life if you don't figure out how to remove the stress.

A few weeks ago, I really started to focus on my stress level and what was causing it. I noticed I was stressing out much more than I should have been, especially about things that weren't worth stressing out over. Why stress over the little things? Why stress over things you can't change? That's what I was doing, stressing out over pointless stuff. I also noticed the more stressed out I became, the more those around me became stressed out as well, especially my children and husband. After I noticed that those around me were becoming stressed out because of me, that was it, I had to remove the stress from my life.

After I noticed how my stress level was producing a negative impact on my family, I very quickly decided I had to change. I knew it wasn't going to be easy removing the stress from my life because I'm naturally a stressed out person. Because I noted what caused me to stress out, I made a conscious choice to stop stressing out over the little things or things I can't change. Sometimes I still catch myself becoming stressed out over pointless things. When this happens I take a little break to reflect on what's causing my stress. By taking the time to think about what good will come from stressing out, I'm able to realize it's energy and effort wasted. Just like that, I choose not to stress out.

As a result, I've noticed a large amount of negativity leave my household. I've noticed it has turned into a much more relaxed environment. But now when my husband or someone around me stresses out over something they shouldn't be, I find it hard not to become consumed by their negative vibe. I try to change both of our vibes by showing them alternatives to stressing out. If you take some time to develop an alternative to stress, you can begin removing stress from your life.

Have you noticed how stress affects your life? How do you remove stress from your life?

Pay It Forward

2011-08-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

I'm a firm believer in karma. I believe, what you do with your life is what you will get out of your life. Do good things and receive good things. Do bad things and receive bad things. Plain and simple. I believe, paying it forward is part of good karma. Doing things for people without expecting anything in return. Give back when you can just because you can, and because you never know when you will be that person in need.

Throughout life, you will experience ups and downs. Periods of time when you will need help from others, whether you ask for it or not. Then, there will be times when you're soaring, and everything is going smoothly. It's much easier to help people in need during the higher times in your life, but there are also times you can help during the low times in your life as well.

It doesn't have to be a big act of kindness, it can be as simple as cooking dinner for a sick friend's family. All that matters is you took the time out of your day to do something nice for someone to make their life a little easier. Instead of watching the elderly woman pack groceries into her trunk on a hot day, walk over and put them in for her. So what if you lost a couple of minutes out of your day. I'm sure that was a high light of that woman's day.

It's not hard paying it forward with simple or bigger acts of kindness. It allows you to be a better person. And who knows, maybe it will become contagious to the people around you, because trust me, we could all use a little more kindness in the world. By taking the time to do acts of kindness, you are sure to receive it back when you need it too and even when you don't.

Positive actions bring positive results my friends.

Reaching Your Dreams

2011-08-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

Rosemarie Rossetti

It's important to share and recognize the progress you make in life. Taking the time to notice how you've progressed in life is great for self esteem and helps you stay motivated to keep moving forward to accomplished everything you desire in life. By sharing your accomplishments with those close to you, they help you celebrate your success and will further your desire to do more in life. All goals in life can be accomplished with a little support and aspirations to do more with your life.

Falling into a Routine

2011-08-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

You get to certain points in your life where you fall into a routine. At certain points you become comfortable and content with where your daily life is at. You flow with the steady rhythm of your life without a second thought as you live each day comfortably and happy. But eventually, you get to a point in life where your daily routine isn't what you expected or no longer satisfies your needs. You want more. You want bigger and better things. You want to accomplish more with your life, and where you're at currently with your daily routines no longer feels as great as it once had.

When you get to this point of wanting more, it can be a nagging urge to move forward, yet make you hesitant to move out of your comfort zone. Stepping away from your comfort zone is easier said than done because you never know what to expect with change. And lets face it, if your comfortable where you're at, why change things up? But, you can't remain at one point in your life forever, because there will come a time when you look back on the years and realize you could have done so much more. You don't want to look back and have regrets or empty voids because you hesitated to make more of your life than where you were at.

You can't settle in life. You always have to look ahead to what you really want in life, and then go out there and do it. You can accomplish everything you want in life, you just have to have the courage, desire and determination to step out of your daily routine, your comfort zone, and go out there and do it.

Have you reached a point in your life where you realized you had fallen into a routine? Did you decide to seek more in life than what you have become comfortable with? How did you get there?

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Interested in guest posting on Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind? We'd love to hear your life's stories. Email alyssa_ast@yahoo.com if interested.

Chapters in Life

2011-07-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

Our lives are similar to books. On the outside, we have our hardcover that conceals our inner most thoughts and struggles, while revealing what we want others to believe our inner selves contain by the way we portray ourselves on the outside with images and words. Our lives have many chapters, with characters that come and go throughout our existence. We write our own chapters in life by choosing to open new doors and close others. The only difference between ourselves and books is that the chapters of our book, of our life, never ends.

Sometimes it's difficult to tell where one chapter in our life ends and another begins. However, often we choose to close one chapter in our life to move forward. Sometimes chapters of our past close on their own, and we may not realize it until after we take time to self reflect.

The most significant chapters, or changing moments, in my life are those I chose to change. Making a conscious choice to shut one door of your past and to open a new door to the future allows you to grow in life. No, it may not always be easy, but if you have the desire to change where you're at in life, it is possible with the right attitude.

Your life's story is not written in stone. If you don't like the current chapter in your life, you control the pen and you can write the ending you want. It won't happen on it's own. You must take control of your life's pen to create the life you want to live.

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How Do You Measure Success?

2011-07-06T08:51:00.000-07:00

Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded! ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone views success differently. Some view it by the amount of money you make in life, the nice objects you have in your home or by how fulfilled your life is. There's not right or wrong way to measure success. Success can only be measured in life by the eyes of the beholder. What one person considers successful, may not be considered successful by another.

To me, success isn't measured in money or materialistic possessions. It's what you do with your time on this Earth that matters the most. What you do with your life determines your success. Making the most of your time on Earth, and living up to your full potential measures your success in my eyes. It doesn't matter how big your house is or how fat your wallet is. That doesn't make you successful in my eyes. You could be a homeless man struggling to find your next meal, but give back when you can and live an honest life with decent values and still be successful.

I consider myself to be very successful in life, and I'm certainly not the richest or most financially stable person in the world. My house may not be the biggest and fanciest, but it's nice to us and suits us perfectly. I do consider myself successful because I'm the best mother I can possibly be to my four children. I'm with the perfect man, who's the perfect husband and the perfect father. I followed my dreams to become a writer, and while I may not be a household name, I'm successful in my writing career. I co-founded a business, which is far more successful than we ever expected, which is success in my eyes.

I live my life the way I want to and raise my children the best I can. I believe in treating others the way you want to be treated, and so my children are taught the same. I believe you're always able to help others in one way or another, and I strive to give back as often as I can. I believe you should leave positive footsteps behind you in life as you move forward, and I try to accomplish this each and every day. In my eyes, I'm very successful and proud of what I have accomplished so far in my life.

What do you feel measures success in life? Do you think you're living a successful life?

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There are No Fairy Tale Endings

2011-06-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

As children and young adults we have this image in our heads about how perfect the adult world is going to be. We wait and wait to become adults so we can have our freedom, the adventurous life, the perfect career with the perfect home, and the perfect, healthy children who are the star pupils in school. We anticipate the perfect life we will live as soon as we just reach 18 years old, but once we finally get to that point we quickly realize there are no fairy tale endings in life as we had thought.

After you become an adult, your freedom and adventurous life quickly go out the window once kids become a part of your life. You're now tied down to take care of another life who depends on you so completely, but wouldn't change a thing. Your perfect career isn't so perfect as you struggle with the nagging boss, inflexible hours and the inability to find an employer that provides the health insurance your family needs. But at least it's a job, which so many people are unable to come across nowadays. The perfect home with the white picket fence out front has a mortgage that needs paid and is two sizes too small, but it's a roof over your family's head and will just have to make due for the time being. I never expected my perfect children to have a learning disability or health conditions that may require severe intervention to treat, but despite this they are still perfect in my eyes.

No, the wonderful adult life we envisioned as children simply isn't the reality as a grown up. There are bills to be paid, unexpected events in life and moments when you're knocked to your knees. The adult world consists of a crushing weight of responsibility and selflessness no one ever prepares you for.

Nothing in life is perfect. The fairy tale ending we thought we would live fades away as reality sets in. Although we don't achieve that flawless life we had desired, the adult life is still wonderful despite the stress and responsibility that comes along with it. If you're able to look past the hard moments in life you didn't expect and learn to roll with the punches, you'll see you can have that life you dreamed of even though it isn't 100% perfect as we had once envisioned.

When Giving Becomes too Much

2011-06-08T09:04:00.001-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

There are points in our life when we all need a little help. Sometimes, we need a lot of help and other times only just a caring hand to help us up. There's nothing wrong with asking for help in times of need, and nothing wrong with offering to help when you see someone's in need. Let's face it, life's hard and every one needs help from time to time to succeed, but there can come a point when helping someone hinders their own abilities to succeed on their own two feet. I see this happen more and more, commonly with younger generations.

When children aren't properly prepared for life while growing up, once they hit the adult world they aren't prepared for what life is really about. Often, they roll over too easily when life gets too hard and become blinded to solutions to their problems. As a result they extend their hand looking for help, when really the answers lie within themselves. Often, when their hand is extended, there's someone on the other end willing to reach out and take hold to help them back to their feet. With the compassion from others, those who stumble in life are helped back up. But all too often, when this hand is extended without real need, they are likely to stumble once again, and once again reach out their hand for help.

Helping others is fine, but when you help others without allowing those in need to learn how to succeed on their own, you begin inhibiting them from their own success. Those in need learn that there will always be someone there to help them up, which as a result causes them to refuse to learn how to overcome their obstacles to stand on their own two feet. There comes a point, when this back and forth behavior leads to the helper being taken advantage of, which benefits neither party involved.

When you begin to see a repeat pattern with helping others, there comes a time when you must carefully evaluate how your help is affecting them. Is it really helping them for the long term, or only helping them for the time being?

Many people choose to help others against their better judgement because they worry and care too much about the person in need to see them fail. But, sometimes failure is what people need. Hitting rock bottom is often an eye opening experience and forces people to find solutions to their problems to allow them to succeed.

~~~~

When you ask for help, evaluate all your options carefully, even if some of those options aren't going to be easy. If there's another solution in sight, other than asking for help, that's a path that should be chosen to benefit yourself in the future by learning how to succeed in a harsh world. If there aren't any other solutions in sight and you have the option to ask someone for help, take it. Just be careful you're really, truly in need and not looking for an easy way out.

Finding solutions to your problems takes an evaluation of your priorities, your true priorities. Taking the time to understand where your priorities lie often provides the answer to your solutions. Sometimes those answers will require the help of others, but most of the time it doesn't. Your often much stronger than you think, especially during hard times. You just need to realize you can stand on your own two feet and determine a path to get you to that point.

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Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

2011-06-01T05:53:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

In our home we have two rules: have respect for yourself and others, and we don't lie. We don't tolerate lies for any reason, no matter how big or small, we don't lie in this house. We don't allow the kids to lie to us and we don't lie to the kids. What's the point? If we lie to the kids they will lose their respect for us and we will lose their trust. Nothing bothers me more than lies. Honestly, what's the point of lying? At some point the truth comes out and all lies do are hurt people. Lies are an unnecessary aspect of life that I wish could be completely eliminated from society, but unfortunately they can't so we must learn to deal with them and those who tell them.

Nothing bothers me more than when people lie to my children. My kids know that lies hurt people's feelings and they don't solve anything. So if my kids, who are all under the age of 6, know lies hurt and don't do any good, why do adults feel they can lie to children? Is it because they are more innocent than adults? Is it because adults underestimate their intelligence? Who knows, but all I know is if you lie to my kids we will have some serious issues.

Many people think when you lie to kids you are saving them from unnecessary pain, but this isn't true. At some point kids will figure out the truth and be just as hurt as an adult when the lie is unveiled. As a result, children learn to lie from being lied too, they learn not to trust and be trusted in the process. There is no need to lie to children. Everything and anything can be explained to children in terms they can understand without needing to lie.

Next time you feel like telling a child a lie, think again. The only person you are hurting is yourself when that child catches onto your lies, because trust me they will figure out the truth and they will always remember the lies that have been told. If you value your relationship with any child, never lie to them because you will only be hurting yourself in the long run, not to mention the child.

Don't forget to check out the Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind Facebook page for the latest news regarding the release of the book!

Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind- Book Update

2011-05-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

I'm very happy to announce my Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind book now has a release date- August 2011! It has taken long enough, but I'm very satisfied with it and I hope all my readers are too. To stay up-to-date with the latest news regarding the release of the book, head over to the Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind Facebook page.

Here's a little teaser that will appear on the jacket of the book to learn more about it:

Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind- Coming August 2011

Our journey in life follows a path laid out before us, but circumstances in life often cause us to lose sight of our path and deviate from our final destination. The path ahead of us in life is derived from who we are and what we are meant to be. Discovering who and what you’re meant to be in life is a difficult road to walk down. But, by learning from your mistakes and taking time to reflect on where your path in life is headed, you can then succeed in your life's journey. Although Alyssa Ast’s journey has only just begun, she’s discovered where she wants her path to lead. Join Alyssa on her journey with the lessons she’s learned, with her random thoughts as she tries to weave her way thru her tangled mind to finally succeed in her journey.

Check the blog often for previews of the book, the latest news and, of course, weekly posts of my random thoughts!

Behind Closed Doors

2011-05-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

I've noticed, very rarely are people actually who they appear to be. Behind closed doors they are completely different people than who they let onto be when the eyes of others are watching. Many people put on an act when around others. In my opinion, many do this because society has created certain images of how people are suppose to be: the good, Betty Crocker housewife, the hardworking, handyman husband, and the flawless children. When you don't measure up to these images society has created, labels and judgemental views begin to be thrown around.

I understand why many may feel the need to try to fulfill these images when others are watching, but you can't change who you are. So what if your meals aren't homemade every night. A couple nights of Hamburger Helper won't kill anyone. So what if you have no clue how to change your oil and would rather pay to have it done. So what if your kids aren't the star pupil in their class.

There is no reason to pretend you have the "perfect family" because NO family is perfect. What matters is that everyone is happy and healthy and you're content with the way you live your life. There's no need to put on fake persona's to try to please society. We are judged enough in the world as it is, you shouldn't be another person judging yourself.

Who are you?

2011-04-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

Recently, I read a blog post from a woman describing who she is. How she is so much more than a simple housewife and how many people seem to label housewives as just that, nothing more than a housewife. This lead me to question, how many of us know who we really are? What about the person next door? Do you know who they really are besides their occupation? And, who are you?

Yes, I am a housewife. I am a mother. I am a maid. I am a personal chef. I am a writer. I am a nature lover. I am a classic car enthusiast. I am a guitar lover, a nature lover, and obsess over clouds and photography. I am me. There is so much more to me and who I really am than what many people only see by observation. Like Shrek says, I am an onion with layers.

On the outside, I am a mother, wife and writer. On the inside, I am a lover not a fighter. I am very connected with my true self and full of passions. I am easily inspired and stand up for my beliefs. I am awkwardly unique. I am my own person in my own way.

Overtime as you get to know me and peel back my stinky onion layers, only then will you get to my core and learn the real me.

You're Only as Old as You Feel

2011-04-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

Well if the saying, you're only as old as you feel, is true, well then I must be pretty darn old. Since becoming a parent, a late night out for me is 10 pm because I am normally in bed by 8:30. I clip coupons, avoid loud music and chaos, and traded in my midriffs for t-shirts. Some days I feel like I am quickly approaching my 40's, yet I am only 24. It's shocking how much parenthood changes you along the way. Sometimes I look in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. Who I am now is just a mere shadow of who I once was. How did I get here? 4 kids is how I got here. Despite feeling far older than I should, I am absolutely fine with that because I am being the best parent I can be and if I feel nearly 40, well then that's a sacrifice I am willing to make as a parent.

When It Rains It Pours

2011-04-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed when one unexpected thing happens it starts a snowball effect, causing a million unexpected things to occur? As my grandma always says, when it rains it pours, which is exactly true. For example, one thing went out on our car, simple enough, but then almost weekly it has stated a chain reaction and something else is always going out. It's never ending. Once you start fixing a car, something else always happens shortly after besides your original problem. This concept doesn't only relate to cars. Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls at you when you least expect it. Some times it's a full on ambush of curve balls. As you duck and dive to try to survive these curve balls, it's all too easy to stumble and fall and struggle to get back on your feet. We have had this happen more times than I can count. We have lost everything, started over again, lost every thing, started over again too many times to remember. It can easily become depressing but with all of our struggles, I've found the best thing you can do in these situations is laugh. What else can you really do? If you can't maintain a positive attitude during times of rain, your situation will appear to be so much worse and that much harder to pull thru. But, if you can somehow remember to see the bright light at the end of the tunnel, the situation will quickly pass and brighter days will be ahead. Trust me, things can always get worse, but how you handle the situation is what matters the most.

Burrrr!!

2011-04-10T19:01:00.000-07:00

I don't like being cold. I don't like being wet. I don't like wearing soggy clothes. So, it probably goes without saying, I don't like snow. I hate snow! I am clearly a desert rat because the thought of snow even makes me cold. Snow is pretty to look at, but when it comes to stepping outside, I will avoid it at all cost. Unfortunately I can't do this though. See, I have kids and when they hear the word snow if the forecast, it's a given we will be outside playing in it. Well, they will be outside playing in it as I shrivel together and try to find some refuge from the bitterness. I brave the dreaded snow because the kids love it so much. It is were up to me, I would lock us in the house all day but I couldn't face their disappointed faces. So this weekend we snowed for almost 3 days and nothing stuck. So after looking at the older kids so sad because they had so been hoping to make snow angles, we packed everyone up and headed off to the near by mountains to enjoy their 9 inches of snow. I don't think the kids have ever been in or seen that much snow. They were so happy making their snow angels and sledding, I couldn't help but smile at their joy as my fingers began to hang like icicles. Luckily, the youngest of the brood didn't enjoy the snow so I was able to hide in the car with him and watch the kids play. They were so happy. Nearly losing my fingers and toes to frost bite didn't matter because their smiles and laughter were far worth it. So I sat in the car with my miserable baby (who clearly loves snow just as much as I do) snapping pictures until one by one it was time to warm cold fingers and soggy feet as they were begging to go home. So until next year mother nature, I will be seeing you again, whether I like it or not.

Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind-- The Book-- Update

2011-04-09T08:51:00.000-07:00

This past week, I finished proofing the Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind book. Whew, one step closer to releasing this book. Up next, the final read through and then off to be edited. I am hoping I can begin formatting by the end of the month and have the book ready to roll mid-May or early June. So, stayed tuned for more Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind updates.

Personal Connections

2011-04-08T08:12:00.000-07:00

Throughout life we make connections with people. Some connections are stronger than others and happen effortlessly. These deep personal connections we develop with certain individuals we meet in life happen for a reason. When you meet someone and you instantly connect with them, like you have known them your entire life, there's a reason that person came into your life. These deep personal connections don't happen every day, and can be few and far between, but when they do, it usually means new beginnings and changes in your life. When we develop these deep personal connections with others, we often learn from the relationship, which causes us to grow as individuals. These healthy relationships are needed for us to grow, mature and succeed in life. These relationships often open our eyes to situations we didn't acknowledge previously, offering room to spread our wings and soar with success.

What's Your Purpose?

2011-04-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~Robert Byrne

Every one's life has a purpose, a meaning. Everyone has a reason to be here, a potential inside of us to cause great change as we go about our lives. Many see no purpose in their life, but really, if you look deep enough, you will find out what your purpose is. I believe your purpose in life has to do with your talents, your passions or what inspires you in life. Highlighting these great gifts within yourself and using them to better yourself and others, results in your purpose in life. In life, we all have a potential. A potential to be more than you ever thought you could be. Living up to that potential is what will make your life and the life of those around you as great as it can possibly be.

Who's to blame?

2011-04-06T11:07:00.000-07:00

Now and days, it seems like parents don't want to step up to the role of being a parent. Don't get me wrong, there are a few good parents out there, but it seems like more and more parenthood consists of only giving birth to a child and not fulfilling the role of being a parent. Being a parent involves more than just loving your child, you must also nurture them and teach them right from wrong. Children need to be taught how to become well respected adults in their future, and that has to be done by teaching them right from wrong and there are consequences to their actions. This can't be done by brushing off their bad choices, you must fully explain why what they did was wrong, how they should have handled the situation differently, and what is going to happen as a result of their actions, then enforce it! You must also highlight and encourage all of their positive behaviors to teach them more good will come from positive character than from poor behavior. However, there are a few good parents who do their job well and still have "the problem child" despite their efforts. But lately, these good parents seem to be few and far between, and as a result, children aren't being raised the way they should. This, of course, produces a ripple effect throughout their lives, causing them to be the bad apples in society. And if they should have children, chances are the cycle will continue to the next generation and so on and so on until the cycle is finally broken. So now when kids miss behave to an extreme, the question remains, who's to blame? Is the child to blame for their bad behavior or is the parent for the lack of ability to teach them right from wrong?

Happiness

2011-04-05T09:58:00.000-07:00

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude. Dale Carnegie

I have learned, happiness can't be derived from materialistic objects. Happiness can only be found within yourself. Just take a look around. Reasons to be happy can be found each and every day, you just have to learn how to recognize these reasons and hold them in the highest light. Once you stop looking for happiness, only then will happiness find you...

Silence is Golden

2011-04-04T10:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever realized just how much you can gain from silence? Silence is golden when you learn so much about yourself and others from nothing more than silence. Words don't even need to be spoken as bonds are made with nothing but silence. Lessons are learned all from silence. Personal journeys are achieved without a sound to be heard. But, finding silence can be a difficult thing, especially in my case when surrounded by children all day. Even in the noisiest of situations, silence can always be found one way or another.

Sitting outside as the sun barely begins to rise or as the sun slowly drops behind the mountains is one of my favorite things to do. The stillness and calmness of the sky as it glows from the sun is so relaxing and perfect to enjoy some peace to self reflect. Even with a slight breeze in the air and the distant chirping of birds, this silence that surrounds me opens up my mind to collect my thoughts and reevaluate who I am and my life in the process. The silence of the chaotic day that surrounds me fades away as I become lost it the pureness of nature, opening my mind to limitless possibilities.

Even when watching a movie with my family, sitting on the couch cuddling, no words need to be spoken as the silence between us all bonds us and forms lasting memories thru the love we all share. Despite the noise from the TV, the silence that bonds us together is golden and there is no greater sense than this quality time with my family.

Silence can be found even in the loudest of environments. Silence can be found within yourself and others, causing no words to be spoken, only bonds and memories as love is shared without one word being said. Silence is golden if you listen close enough and you will be surprised at the things you can learn and achieve from this nothingness.

Can't We Stop Time?

2011-04-03T11:08:00.000-07:00

I watch the changes that occur with my kids everyday and I wish I could just hit the pause button to stop time. Everyday they seem to grow up faster and faster, and everyday the remainder of their youth is one day shorter. Watching them go from infants to thriving individuals is amazing and saddening at the same time. Why can't we stop time?

I know the days spent cuddling will soon be replaced by days fighting to spend time with them as they develop their own lives. The constant "mommy, mommy" all day long will soon fade away as they no longer need or rely on me so much. It's heartbreaking to see my babies grow up. It's all happening so quickly and I wish I could just stop time from passing.

While it's so saddening to seem my little babies grow up before my eyes, it's exciting at the same time. As they continue to grow, each age brings on new milestones and exciting adventures, causing me to be enthusiastic for their futures and what's coming next. But, it does make me dread the day when they are finally on their own and old enough to leave home.

The little moments that are often taken for granted, I have learned to truly treasure. Even changing the stinky diapers and the 3 AM wake up call because these hidden moments in the darkness and stillness of the house comforting them back to sleep won't be around forever as time continues to march on.

The Heat Is On!

2011-04-02T13:36:00.000-07:00

Summer is quickly approaching out here in the desert. Temperatures are quickly rising and it seems like every day there are more and more buds on the trees and bushes. A slight breeze in the air and the fresh green vegetation surrounding us is so energizing. There is only a short period of time where we can actually enjoy this warm weather before it heats up too much and we begin to melt.

We are fully taking advantage of this beautiful warm weather. The kids can carelessly spend their days outside playing in the sun and family outings are being more common as winter begins to fade away. I look forward all year to Spring in the desert because there are so many fun memories to be made and the smiles and laughs from the kids as they enjoy their playtime outside are priceless.

But, I know this perfect weather won't last forever. In just a matter of a few short weeks, temperatures will be well above 100 and the sun will be too scorching for the kids to spend all day outside. On the plus side, monsoon season comes next, offering an almost daily refreshing rain to cool us off and cleanse the Earth.

Many have a difficult time finding the beauty in the desert with all the brown and dirt. But the Spring months are certainly enjoyable, even if there isn't much to look at. There really is beauty in the desert if you know where to find it, like the fresh green buds appearing on the trees and the fluffy accumulation of the monsoon clouds in the afternoon. Life is good out here in the desert and I will enjoy every second I can outdoors before the sun begins to pound down too harshly.

The Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind Book

2011-04-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

I'm very close to releasing my Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind book, which you may have already guessed is based off of this very blog. The book will be very similar to the blog and include many of the topics I have previously discussed on here, with a few new ones thrown in and more detailed, well, random thoughts. This book is about life, lessons and learning how to live.

I am in no way an expert on life but I have learned a thing or two throughout the years that I feel are worth sharing. Life is a learning experience, one lesson after another, that causes us to successfully move forward in life to become that individual we all hope to be. Life is a bumpy road full of twists and turns, with forks in the road that can change our life for the better or worse. This path we follow throughout life makes us who we are, even when we don't realize we are becoming that person.

My path through life has not been what I expected it to be when I was younger. While its not what I expected, it is better than I expect. This path I have followed has made me realize numerous important lessons through the years that I feel may benefit others traveling on a similar path as I.

This is what Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind is about. So if you enjoy my ramblings, stay tuned for further updates about the release of the book.

Ultimate Blog Challenge!

2011-03-31T07:33:00.000-07:00

This year I will be participating in the Ultimate Blog Challenge right here on Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind. So, starting April 1st, join me every day for 30 days (hopefully) as I try to succeed with the Ultimate Blog Challenge!

Laying the Cards Out

2011-03-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, I was featured in our local newspaper, the Kingman Daily Miner, regarding my contribution to the Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms book. If you're a writer, you know this is a huge deal, which it is for me, but at the same time it has also caused some dark clouds to form. My contribution to the book, So This is Love, is about my teen pregnancy and how it forced me to grow up. This moment in my life may not have been my finest, but it's the best moment of my life because it truly is when my life began.

Due to the touchy subject of teen pregnancy and the recent article, I've received numerous comments from people, both online and in person, stating I'm glamorizing teen pregnancy and encouraging other teens to go out and have a baby if the want to make their life better. This couldn't be further from the truth. I don't encourage teen pregnancy at all. In fact, if I could go back in the past and end up with the same child, I would have waited until I had the maturity level and finances needed to raise a child. But I didn't, and it forced me to grow up very quickly.

Prior to having my son, I was making reckless decisions and a lot of mistakes. When my son was born, I knew I had to change for him. This is why I say my son is the best thing that could have happened to me. My son saved me from my own destruction. I owe him everything. Without him I don't think I would be who I am today. He truly was the best thing that could have happened, despite a rough situation.

Now let me lay the cards out. I don't encourage teen pregnancy. So if you're reading this and are a teen considering having a baby, please wait! Raising a child is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. The commercials don't lie. A baby really does change everything, not just your current situation in life but your way of thinking, your freedom and your lack of responsibility. While I have come a long way since my son came into my life, it remains a daily struggle to beat the stereotype and statistics associated with being a teen mother.

If you're already a teen mother, it can be a very lonely and confusing time. I know first hand how rough it is to try to raise a child at a young age. Half of you is torn to remain a child yourself and the other half is struggling to be the best parent you can be. Although it's an up hill battle, don't give up. You don't have to be a statistic. You don't have to be the stereotype associated with teen mothers. You CAN make a better life for yourself and your child! You CAN be that parent your are striving to be!

Yes, my son was the best thing that happened because he forced me to grow up. No, I'm not glamorizing the fact I was a teen parent, just highlighting the changing moment in my life. If you are a teen mother reading this, or considering having a child as a teen, please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions or are just looking for someone who has been in your shoes.

"So This is Love"

2011-03-16T06:11:00.000-07:00

Recently, I shared a piece of my life and it was published in the Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms. "So This is Love" was published, which is about how I came to meet and fall in love with my first son. It's very similar to this blog, so if you love Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind, check out this new book.

Adventures of a New Mom- Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: Beth Gwazdosky (512) 921-8148

The Adventures of a New Mom
Susan M. Heim and Chicken Soup for the Soul share touching and relatable stories of motherhood

COS COB, Conn. – ―Mom, I‘ve changed my mind. Can you come and help?‖ begged Ronda Ross Taylor, a new mom who finally realized that caring for a baby wasn‘t as easy as she‘d expected. Can you relate? Or maybe your experiences mirror those of Melissa Face, who received an abundance of unsolicited advice from everyone around her after announcing her pregnancy. Face realized that, although the advice wasn‘t always helpful, it was coming from a place of love and should be embraced. ―It takes a village to raise a child, perhaps even to bring one to full term. And every village needs a police force.‖ Mary Jo Marcellus Wyse has her own advice to offer new moms: Savor every minute you get to hold your child close—even during those exhausting nightly feedings—because they‘ll be over before you know it.

Becoming a new mom is the most amazing and life-changing event. Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms (Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, LLC, March 8, 2011, 978-1935096634, $14.95) celebrates the physical, emotional, and spiritual experience of having a child and creating a family. New and expectant moms will delight in these heartwarming, insightful, and humorous stories about raising babies and toddlers. They share the wonders of early motherhood, the wait for a baby (whether through pregnancy, adoption, or surrogacy), those challenging early weeks and first few years, and everything in between!

Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms co-author Susan M. Heim believes, ―We are all ‗new moms‘ because there are always new challenges and new pleasures, regardless of the age of our children.‖ Heim‘s relatable outlook on motherhood provides readers with comfort and understanding of what it‘s like to be a new mother. In this book, she shares her story of becoming a ―new mom‖ for a second time after the birth of her twins in 2003—eleven years following the birth of her second child. Heim is a longstanding author and editor, specializing in parenting, women‘s and Christian issues.

Heim encourages readers to cherish every experience as a new mom. ―I realize with sadness that I really miss the days of rocking a baby through a sleepless night, even though it‘s accompanied by exhaustion. I know now that the potty-training days I thought would never end were just a blip in my children‘s many milestones.‖

As readers cherish the wisdom inherent in these stories, they will also be able to empathize with new mom, Shelle Lenssen, who couldn‘t help but notice the perfectly polished mother at the grocery store on a day when she couldn‘t possibly look more disheveled. The other mom had her feeling as though she was falling short in so many aspects of her life. But she soon realized that comparisons would get her nowhere. What really mattered was the beautiful baby fast asleep in her rearview mirror. Being a new mom, we all discover, isn‘t about perfection. It‘s simply about love.

Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms (Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Susan M. Heim) will be released on March 8, 2011. Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, LLC, publishes all the latest titles in the famous Chicken Soup for the Soul book series which are distributed through Simon & Schuster, Inc. Since 1993, books in the Chicken Soup for the Soul series have sold over 112 million copies, with titles translated into over 40 languages. Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing also licenses the right to use its famous trademark to high quality licensees. The company is currently implementing a plan to expand into all media, is working with TV networks on several TV shows and is developing a major Internet presence dedicated to life improvement, emotional support, inspiration and wellness. In 2007, USA Today named Chicken Soup for the Soul one of the five most memorable and impactful books in the last quarter century. For more information visit: http://www.chickensoup.com/.

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To receive a review copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms or to request an interview,
please contact Beth Gwazdosky at (512) 921-8148 or beth@sheltoninteractive.com.

New Book Released- Marketing Yourself and Your Writing Online

2011-02-14T08:46:00.000-08:00

Along with the WM Freelance Writers Connection moving to a new site, which can be found HERE. The old site is still live so you can view your favorite posts from the past. A great feature launched along with the new site is a FREE eBook for the WM Freelance Writers Connection subscribers, The WM Freelance Writers Connection Presents Marketing Yourself and Your Writing Online, with a special contribution from Alyssa Ast.

"Next to great writing skills, marketing yourself and your writing is the key to building a successful freelance writing career. Learning how to market yourself and your writing online can be a big challenge. Even those who are already successful can become more successful with strong online marketing efforts. This ebook offers tips, techniques and advice from successful freelance writers who know what works!

To get your copy free, visit at The WM Freelance Writers Connection and subscribe to free email updates. You'll be sent a special coupon code to allow you to get the book at no cost to you!"

The WM Freelance Writers Connection began posting weekly freelance writing jobs every Monday so be sure to stop by you favorite on-stop resource for freelance writers!

Some Things You Just Can't Change

2011-01-26T09:49:00.000-08:00

There are some things in life you just can't change no matter how desperately you might want to. As a parent, the instant our children come into the world they are perfect in every single way and no one had better tell you otherwise. But sometimes the image you had about your children turns out not to be the reality through no ones fault. It is just the way life is sometimes. But no matter what, your children will always be perfect in your eyes.

For the past year and a half, I have been dwelling on the future, dwelling on my son's future. I've now come to the realization that just like dwelling on the past, you can't dwell on the future. I've spent the past year determined to change the course of my son's future at all cost. Thinking not my child, this won't happen to my child. Not if I can help it. But the thing is, I can't help it. Nothing I can do can change the cards he was dealt. While it may not be the future we had dreamed of for him, it is still a future, which is a lot brighter than many of the children in his shoes have.

I can't change what makes him who he is but he doesn't have to be defined by it anymore. If you take away the medical aspect, he is just a happy, go lucky little boy who truly loves life. I can't dwell on a future full of what if's and what can happen anymore. It's just too exhausting. An in the end, if the what if's do turn into his reality, I would rather look back and see happy moments to treasure than endless days spent worrying.

The Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind book is set to be released in April!

Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind-- The Book

2011-01-05T05:22:00.000-08:00

You have probably noticed I have been lacking in the regular posting of this blog. This is due to the fact I have been working on a new book. This new book is actually based off of this site and will be titled "Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind." I have the manuscript just about complete and have the release date planned for March of 2011. I will try to update this site more often as the final draft of the manuscript comes to an end. Stay tuned for the official release date for Random Thoughts of a Tangled Mind!

Stop the Finger Pointing!

2010-10-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

by Alyssa Ast

It seems like I am always hearing about people complaining about their situations in life and where their life is headed. Their life is not headed in the direction they thought it was going to go and they can not figure out how they got to this point in their life. It exhausts me to hear people complaining about their present situations in life. As they try to find an understanding about why they are where they are, they are always so quick to point a finger at someone and place the blame on some one else for why they are living the life they are living. All the while, I am screaming inside my head to stop the finger pointing!

Your life is your own and no one controls it but you. No one is to blame but yourself why your life is not what you had expected. You can not sit around and wait for the ideal life to happen. You and only you have to make this happen. No one is going to give you the life you desire. Only you can make this happen, so stop the finger pointing. The sooner you realize you are living your current life due to your actions the sooner you can jump up and make those changes to make your life what you want it to be. Your ideal life will not come to you on it's own. You can not just sit back and wait for it to land in your lap. You must get up and seize life by the horns and make it what you want it to be.

I encourage you all to sit back and spend sometime reflecting on your current situations in life. How did you get there? Where do you want to go? What changes can YOU make to get the life you want?

Moving Past Mistakes

2010-10-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

Mistakes are tricky things. You can either choose to learn from them or ignore them and continue on through life. No matter which path you choose, your mistakes are there to stay and they will forever be apart of your past. Many times people choose to ignore their mistakes, which often leads to a continuous cycle of making the same mistakes over and over again. What many people do not realize is that the mistakes you make don't just affect your life, but the lives of others as well. The mistakes you make create a ripple effect throughout your life and the lives of those close to you. If you choose to ignore your mistakes in life those ripples will continue to spread as you remake the same mistakes.

If you choose to ignore your mistakes, there is a point in your life where those mistakes will catch up with you. You can not run or hide from them because no matter how hard you try, at some point they will find you. When this happens you are again left with two options: own up to your mistakes or once again brush them off and continue through life. If you want to grow into a successful adult in life, when you reach this cross road, it is best to make the mature decision and own up to your mistakes. This often means accepting the consequences of whatever mistakes you have made, even if the consequences are severe. By taking responsibility for your mistakes and accepting the consequence you become a more respectable person in life and society. Plus, those that have been affected by your mistakes are certain to hold you in a much higher light than if you continued to run from your mistakes.

If by chance you should choose to take the other path and not own up to you mistakes, you are sealing your fait for repeating those same mistakes and continuing to harm yourself and those around you. It becomes a dreaded cycle if you choose this path because humans are creatures of habit. And, by allowing the habit of making poor choices to continue, you most certainly won't be living your life to the fullest.

Like I said, mistakes are tricky things. When you stop to realize the mistakes you have made throughout life, the weight of your poor choices can be crushing, even stifling. Owning up to your mistakes and choosing to learn from them can be a difficult path. But in the end, taking responsibility for those actions will improve your quality of life and the quality of life for those around you that suffer from your poor choices.

Mistakes are mistakes. We are all bound to make them at one point or another. Mistakes can not be avoided because no one is perfect. What matters is learning from those mistakes to ensure you never make them again. By learning from your mistakes you will grow as an individual and become that respected person everyone wants to be.

I encourage you all to take some time to evaluate your life to see where you may have chose some incorrect paths in life. Evaluate where you can make some changes and where you would have done things differently. This will help you choose the correct path next time and allow you to make amends with the poor choices from your past.

Is Blood Really Thicker than Water?

2010-09-15T06:59:00.000-07:00

I often give people the benefit of the doubt and give them more chances than they truly deserve. While I thought I was keeping my heart open and maintaining the family aspect of life, I have recently learned that this may not always be the best thing to do for yourself. There are only so many times you can get burned before you learn you to stay away.

My whole life I have always been told that "blood is thicker than water" and "family will always be there when no one else is." Yes, scientifically this may be true, blood is thicker than water, but in reality, it is not. And yes, some family may always be there for you but others won't hesitate to kick you when you are down.

Some of the most important people in my life are of no blood relation and I know with 100% certainty those people would never jeopardize my well being or my families well being. Just because your are blood related to someone, that does not make them family and that does not mean you have to love them. Love is derived from relationships based on respect for one another, respect for one's well being, happiness, and an overall respectful consideration for one's feelings. You are not born loving someone just because they are related to you. Love for someone must be acquired over time by reasons provided to actually love them. Love can not be forced just because of DNA.

Sometimes you need to sit back and reevaluate who you allow to be part of your life for your own health and happiness. Some people in your life may be what they call "toxic relationships" and those relationships are not healthy for you or those around you. Toxic relationships are those that are filled with unneeded stress, disrespect, and an overall lack of consideration for others. These relationships can actually harm your health and can alter your happiness levels in life due to the stress that comes along with them.

If you have these relationships in your life, it is important to sit back and evaluate just what you gain from these relationships. Although it is difficult, you may need to cut ties with some people in your life for your own well being and happiness. Toxic relationships do no one any good.

I advise you to sit down and reflect on some of those questionable relationships in your life. Family is not always here to stay and just because your DNA may be similar, that does not make them family. Family is not supposed to jeopardize your safety or well being. The definition of family is "a group of things having common characteristics" This includes more characteristics than simply a blood line. Know what you want in life and who you are, your moral values, your path in life, and your overall belief of how you want to live your life. If people, family or friends, do not fit into this, you may need to cut some ties to make life the best and happiest life possible.

Summer Time Adventure

2010-08-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

Because the boys are older this summer, we decided to try some new things with them to get them involved with nature and to see some of the other aspects of summer besides the pool. We decided we were going to plant a garden this year, our first garden. And, we also decided to get each of the boys a planter of their own to take care of throughout the summer. We debated about using indoor planters or outdoor planters. Because we are limited on space, we went with outdoor planters.

Using outdoor planters turned out to be a mistake because the dog kept digging in them. Eventually, we put them on top of the porch rail but that didn't work either. Living in a monsoon region, the wind kept blowing the planters off the rail. We probably replanted them at least 5 times before finally giving up. It was pretty saddening because they boys were so excited to watch the seeds grow into flower stems, but as soon as they would get about an inch high, a disaster would happen

We also had our garden, which was an experience in its self. First, we planted it way to early, even though we looked at the back of the seed packets and it said it was the perfect time. The day after we planted the garden it snowed. A month later, we replanted but we were invaded by ants that ate everything! So we replanted, but then came the birds. So we replanted again and things were going well, minus the fact we had a lack of communication and ended up planting over the top of things.

The garden was going very well at this point, it was thriving. And then the summer sun hit and fried it all. Out of our entire garden we only got 3 carrots and a mystery bush. It is up for debate whether it is actually a tomato plant or a pepper plant- yes, that shows our expertise in gardening. But whatever the plant is, it has mutated into a massive bush that is continuing to spread. It is covered in either peppers or tomatoes. I guess the mystery bush will remain a mystery until the "mystery plant" ripens.

Either way it was a great learning experience this summer, for both us and the kids. Next year, we now know to go with the indoor planters for the kids. And, to throw the knowledge we thought we knew about gardening out the window. Before next summer, I think we will be investing in a gardening book.

Pieces of Yourself

2010-08-23T07:01:00.000-07:00

As you grow into a better person throughout life, you often lose pieces of your former self. Who you once thought you were suddenly seems like a stranger as you mature and develop into a functioning adult who contributes to society. When you sit back and reflect on who you once were and who you are now, you can often become confused about how you got to this point.

Life throws us curve balls, which often cause us to want things we never wanted or to end up in positions we never expected ourselves to be in. While it is very shocking sometimes to sit back and look at how far we have deviated from our once set paths or change who we once were, it really isn't that bad. It is just a part of life.

I can say from experience, I am a mere ghost of who I once was. Sometime I wonder how did I change so much in such a short period of time? How did I become who I am today? Will I ever again become the person I use to be? I can go on and on questioning where my former self went and if I will ever see that person again. But, I stop and realize it really doesn't matter too much whether I become that person again or not because I am satisfied with who I am today.

A huge turning point in my life that caused many pieces of my former self to slip away was when I had children. I sacrificed who I was for the sake of my children. While I sometimes look back and think "gee, how did I get here?" I realize the sacrifices I made to give up pieces of who I once considered myself to be was worth it. I don't care whether I get those pieces back or not because I now realize those pieces that slipped away really weren't who I truly was.

When we are young we are so convinced we know who we are and what life we are meant to live. I guess the naiveness of adolescence has a tricky way of fooling us into believing something that isn't so. Maybe it is peer pressure or the stress of wanting to adapt to our situations, but these things are of no importance. Who we truly are is instilled in us at birth. The journey of discovering who we truly are takes time and maturity, which can only be accomplished with self reflection and life experiences.

While I do miss some pieces of my former self that have slipped away over the past few years, I am content with who I am today. I know those pieces I lost have been replaced with better, more permanent pieces of my true self. Some days I see glimpses of who I once was, but those glimpses are short lived and are few and far between.

While I miss certain pieces, such as the carelessness and and risk taking pieces I have lost, wisdom and an overall love for life have replaced those pieces. The new pieces of myself I have found have helped me build who I am today. While I am not yet complete and I am sure more of my former self will begin to slip away in the future, I look forward to when I can look back at my life and finally know with 100% certainty who I truly am and what I was meant to do with my life.

Save Lives with the Child Guard System

2010-08-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

Child drowning deaths are a leading cause of unintentional death for children under the age of four. The number of near drowning incidents for young children is estimated to be at least four times greater than the annual number of child drowning deaths. Lack of proper supervision and pool safety systems are the main contributors to the vast number of child drowning and near drowning cases.

Child Guard System
The Child Guard system is a revolutionary device that instantly alerts parents the second a child has come into contact with water. The Child Guard system consists of a fun fish-shaped wristband, which is adjustable for continued use as the child grows. The wristband woks in combination with a portable base station, which is capable of operating multiple wristbands for optimal safety. The instant the wristband comes into contact with water the base station emit’s a 100 decibel alarm with flashing lights, quickly alerting parents of the situation and providing the child with vital life saving assistance.

The Child Guard system has a maximum distance allowance of 200 feet and a minimum battery life of 3 years so you don’t have to worry about the product being unreliable. Because the base station is portable, you can ensure the safety of babies and toddlers not only at home, but at lakes, beaches, and other water recreational areas.

For more information about the Child Guard system visit www.childpoolalarmsystems.com

The Simple Things in Life

2010-08-04T09:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how the simple things in life are often the greatest? While material objects and money make life more enjoyable, it is really the simpler and natural aspects of life that make every day worth living to the fullest. All the money in the world could not purchase the sheer beauty that are derived from natural moments that make life wonderful. No amount of money can buy true happiness. The key to happiness is to learn to recognize the great, natural, moments in life and to embrace them with every inch of your being.

The absolute, most greatest thing I have found in life are babies first smiles. I love babies first smiles more than anything in the world, even more than chocolate. No matter how bad or frustrating a day is, a fresh smile from a baby instantly turns the day around and the world seems so much brighter. Babies smiles are so simple and innocent. Babies are unaware of the cruelties and harshness of the world. Their smiles are the purest and the truest form of happiness there is. Their happiness is contagious and makes those around them experience their joy as well. I would not know the meaning of true happiness if I went through life never witnessing this spectacular joy.

Another great moment of natural beauty that I have witnessed and found happiness in is that of sunrises. Sunrises remind me of just how small we truly are and how grateful we should all be. As humans, we seem to believe that the planet belongs to us and everything revolves around the human race. But this is not so. The planet revolves around mother nature and if it were not for mother nature, the human race would cease to exist. Sunrises show that there is always a new beginning from moments of darkness and that those new beginnings are a spectacular event to willingly accept. The natural beauty of a sunrise can not be man made no matter how hard we try. We really are just a minuscule aspect of the planet.

There are so many great things in life that do not require money to make you happy. You just need to learn how to see these great moments and realize material object are of no importance. Even if I were living in a shack with a cold, dirt floor I would still be happy as long as I could wake up to see the awe sticking colors of a sunrise and the purity of a baby's first smile.

Lack of Responsibility

2010-07-12T15:04:00.000-07:00

When I found myself pregnant at 17 everyone told me my life would change forever and I would regret it because I would miss out on things I wouldn't have otherwise. It never really bothered me because I figured nothing was more important than raising my child. Everything I was going to miss out on seemed so minuscule to the fact I was going to have a child.

Now, sometimes I find myself talking to friends from high school and other people my age, and begin wondering if maybe everyone had been right. I hear about their freedom to take trips, party, and just an overall carelessness for life and wonder what my life would be like had I not gotten pregnant at such a young age. Then I realize it is not their freedom to enjoy their youth that I miss, but instead their lack responsibility.

The lack of responsibility to be able to do as you please without it affecting others. To be able to do what you want when you want, to be able to put your wants and needs first, and to enjoy your early years without having to stop and think about how it will affect your family. No one ever tells you the crushing weight responsibility brings.

Some days I long to be free from responsibility but then I turn around and see my 3 sons and realize my life means so much more now than if I were to be out aimlessly enjoying what life has to offer if I had not had children. Sure I missed my prom, graduation, and rarely get to go anywhere that doesn't include diapers and groceries, but I wouldn't trade any of it. I am content with the fact I sacrificed my youth to raise three well rounded young boys that will someday be men with something great to offer the world.

As the Door Closes

2010-06-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If one door closes, another door will open. I see many people in life get to easily discouraged or depressed over their current situations in life. Sure, there are mements in every ones life that calls for moments of depression-- such as great loss or severe injuries. However, I can't understand why people think the world ends over material objects and money. These are of no real value in life. Yes, life is easier if you have money, but the sun will still rise if you aren't a millionaire.

It really irritates me to hear people complain about material objects and money. Maybe it is because my family has been through rough patches more times than I can count. Yes, each of those times we were knocked to our feet was extremly difficult, the only thing that truly mattered was the fact we were all together and healthy. That fact alone is what got us through those hard times, and the knowledge that if one door is closing another is soon to open.

I know with 100% certainty everything happens for a reason. In life, times most certainly do get hard, but dwelling on what you don't have won't make the situation any better. Sitting there being depressed does absolutely no good expect make the hard times seem worse.

It's important to understand that there is a reason for these hard times to be occurring, even though it may seem like the world has stopped turning. It's important during these hard times to dust yourself off and keep moving forward until that new door opens.

Even if it takes a while to occur, when you least expect it, that door will appear and as you walk through it you will realize, "wow, things could have been so much worse." Because trust someone with experience, things can ALWAYS get worse, you just have to be thankful for all the positive things in life--like healthy, family, and good times.

Life Changing Moments

2010-06-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I gave birth to my 3rd child on May 21st. I had to have a c-section because I had them previously. Unforeseen complications arouse and the surgery quickly turned into something unexpected. I laid on the table screaming inside as I struggled to breath. The pain of being physically unable to breath is simply indescribable. Kind of like every inch of your body is imploding and exploding at the same time as you struggle to accomplish the task of simply inhaling. As I laid there, the pain faded into the distance as I focused on the bright operating light above me, realizing if it continued I may not see my children grow up. That thought alone made me loose focus on the fact there was a crushing weight on my chest. As I laid in the recovery room all I could think about was if I had just dodged a bullet and I couldn’t wait to see my children’s faces.

When I held my son for the first time I looked into his eyes and wondered what would happen if I had left my children motherless that day. I knew at that moment something I had been questioning, I would never take that chance again. I looked to a bright day tomorrow but not even an hour after my son was taken back to the nursery I received a phone call he had turned deep blue from head to toe. They had placed him on oxygen but could not find anything physically wrong with him for him to have these breathing difficulties. The complications began to amount but over the next few days, he made an amazing improvement and was able to come home. All seemed well.

A couple days after we were all at home enjoying being a family of 5 we received a phone call that a very dear friend of ours had passed away. This has been difficult to deal with because this man was truly a good person to his very core and he had been taken from this earth far before his time. This man could not have been mean to anyone even if he tried and in a split second he was gone. That day the world lost an amazing man who brightened the day of anyone he came into contact with.

After this week, that was filled with pain, joy, and sorrow, I came to a harsh realization that I am surprised I hadn’t had such a firm grasp on before. Life is fragile and tomorrow is by absolutely no means set in stone. This fact too many of us, and myself included, take for granted. In a shear second, this precious thing can be taken away from any of us without any warning.

I never truly realized just how fragile life is. I now firmly understand you must cherish every moment, even the bad ones, because tomorrow may not always be there. Although it may seem depressing, facing this realization has somehow opened my eyes to a new world and a new beginning. I will never again hold off on what can be said or done today, because I do not know if tomorrow will come.

The fact that life is so very fragile truly gives me a whole new meaning on the concept of life and what I want to accomplish with mine.

Taking a Break

2010-05-19T18:44:00.000-07:00

Due to bringing my 3rd child into the world, I will be neglecting my blog for a few weeks. See you soon!

The Intelligence of Youth

2010-05-12T10:19:00.001-07:00

One of the most shocking aspects of parenthood that I least expected was just how intelligent children really are. Evan at a very young age children know so much more than most adults give them credit for. I think one reason adults are unaware of how intelligent children are is because they don't pay close enough attention and children often don't want to let on they know so much.

I'm always amazed at just how much my children know. Now, every parent says their children are the most intelligent and feel the need to brag--it's a perk of being a parent. But this is different. Sometimes my kids will say a word that even causes me to pull out the dictionary and all I can think, is where did they learn that from? It certainly wasn't from me.

I've realized children watch your every move and listen to absolutely everything, even when you think they aren't paying attention. Children often sit and quietly observe what's going on around them. Which leads me to believe their intelligence levels truly are limitless. I'm beginning to think what actually limits a child's intelligence is an adults lack of ability to recognize just how smart kids really are. Without an adult acknowledging a child for their intelligence and supporting their development, I think many children become discouraged to continue actively learning.

When I tell people how smart my kids are, they often laugh and joke because I was outsmarted by a 4 year old, as if it's something I should be ashamed of. However, this isn't how I see it. If my 4 yr old outsmarted me or knocks me off my feet with his level of intelligence, that's something to applaud not be frightened of. I think every parent hopes their children turn out smarter than they are because that ensures them a bright future if they are properly supported and nurtured.

My point is, next time your child has something to say, listen. Don't just hear them but actually listen to what they are saying. When they are quietly playing by themselves, silently observe them and their actions. You may just be as surprised as I am by my children's intelligence.

Sacrifices

2010-05-05T17:10:00.000-07:00

In life we're forced to make scarifies, whether to benefit ourselves or others. Some scarifies we are more willing to make and some we simply aren't. I've noticed since becoming a mother, I have never been so willing to make scarifies than those that are for my children. I've made more scarifies for my children in the past few years than I can even remember. And, although some of these sacrifices may not have been what I wanted and were difficult to make, I willingly made them for the benefit of my children.

I think a lot of people my age and certain parents in general are unwilling to make important scarifies in their life to benefit their children. Making scarifies for your children is a conscious decision you must make, and they are often difficult decisions. However, if you stop to think about the bigger picture, you'll put the love for your children over your own personal wants and needs and the choice becomes simpler.

I see a lot of parents unwilling to sacrifice their former lives for the sake of their children. So many are unwilling to give up the partying stage of life and move on for the well being of their children. And, many are unwilling to give up former lifestyles so their children can live in stable environments. When this occurs I'm greatly saddened because these children are not being put first over their parents own selfish behaviors.

Although many of the sacrifices I've made in life for my children have been difficult, I don't regret any of them. I'm sure I even make more sacrifices for may children than are probably necessary, but I remain content in the fact I put my children first. This doesn't only include the big things, but the small things as well.

The majority of the time I don't get that pair of pants I've been wanting because in the back of my head I'm thinking this money could go towards the kids. I don't go out and get my hair done because I'm thinking some one's birthday is just around the corner. I know there are times I could make the choice and buy that nice pair of shoes but I'm always consumed with guilt when I do.

I think an important aspect of becoming a parent that many people seem to lack now and days is the ability to sacrifice anything and everything for their children. It's included in the title of being a parent. If people are unwilling to make the big sacrifices in life necessary to provide the best life for their children as possible, maybe they shouldn't have decided to become a parent.

I know the little scarifies in life don't always need to be taken, but when it comes to your child's happiness, safety, and future, the big sacrifices are necessary. If you aren't willing to give up a night of partying to read a story to your child to promote their educational future, maybe you need to reevaluate your current situation.

Looking for the Best

2010-04-21T14:41:00.000-07:00

I am flawed. I have a habit of looking for the best in life. I look for the best in every situation and I look for the best in people. This often causes me to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them 2nd, 3rd, and even 4th chances to redeem themselves in my eyes.

Often, when many people would have written someone off, I give them the benefit of the doubt. Much of the time the results will be in my favor, and that benefit of the doubt ends up to be well worth the risk. I have mended relationships that were classified beyond repair and made life long friends in the process. Plus I can sleep comfortably without regrets.

However, sometimes things don't always work out like this. A few times I have given some one the benefit of the doubt when I was warned to look away and ended up getting burned. While it can be hard to go through the pains of looking for the best in everyone, I remain content with the fact I at least tried.

While I now know some relationships are beyond repair I am just the type of person that will take the risk and continue to give others multiple chances to set thing right. In most cases this does work out. But I guess I am flawed. Maybe because I trust to easily, or maybe because I like to think every dark cloud has a silver lining. Either way, at least I know deep down, I am a better person for looking for that light at the end of the tunnel.

Drifting...

2010-04-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

As we go through life with our partners, either one of two things happen, you grow closer together or you grow further apart. I think there are stages through out relationships where sometimes you feel closer than ever with one another and times when you feel yourselves drifting apart. During the drifting apart, I feel many people, especially younger people, give in to quickly. They take the drifting apart as a sign the relationship is ending, when in reality it just means one or both people are changing.

Life causes us to change as individuals. As we grow and learn more about ourselves, we become shadows of our former selves. Often this is a good thing and these changes go unnoticed to even ourselves. But these changes can be seen in our relationships. This is the time when the drifting usually occurs. Sometimes our partners are aware of the changes we are making and sometimes they are not. But sticking together while the changes occur is vital for strengthening a relationship.

The ability to recognize the changes your partner is making during these moments of drifting is important for the stability of a relationship. Sure the changes may cause bumps in the road, but after the changes have stopped and you have survived, I guarantee the closeness you felt with your partner prior to the changes occurring is far greater than it was before.

You must learn to recognize these changes in one another, especially if you plan on spending the rest of your life with that person. You must learn to appreciate and accept the changes yourself and your partner make. It is all part of the growing process and developing who you are and who you are meant to be in life.

Changes in life, no matter how big or small, are something that should be welcomed. If you truly believe you are meant to spend the rest of your life with the person you are with, don't give up when you feel like you have been stranded during their time of change. If you stick it out, chances are you will both be happier in the long run and will spend a long and happy life together.

My partner and I have been together for quite sometime now (for a young couple) and although there were tough times in our past, sticking together and not giving in like so many of the people our age have, has provided us with a sturdy ground for our future. We have both become people we never thought we would but by learning to accept those changes we each made, we have accomplished more in our relationship and life than we ever expected to and I see a very promising and happy future ahead of us.

Hidden Gem: Sitters.com

2010-04-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

While browsing the Internet I came across this site sitters.com. This site is pretty cool. It is a very reliable source for people to find safe and trusted care providers. Parenting Magazine rates sitters.com as the best and safest site to find nannies and child care providers. But their services don't stop there. They can also be used to find reliable pet sitters, tutors, and housekeepers-- among others.

One of the features sitters.com has recently unleashed is the ability to pay-as-you-go. This new service is great because you can now purchase credits for the site (which never expire) and use them as you need them. This is perfect if you don't want to pay monthly fees.

It turns out since they are releasing this new feature, they are offering 10 free credits for the site in the month of April for new members! All you do is go to the site (www.sitters.com/registration.aspx) and enter the promo code of FREEINAPRIL. I recommend you take advantage of this unique opportunity to try the site out for free.

The Forces of Nature

2010-03-31T08:29:00.000-07:00

"Revelations are found in clouds”
By Serge Kahili King

For those that know me well, especially those that have seen my photography, know I have a passion for clouds. Clouds, even the dark and menacing clouds, are so effortlessly pure. A cloud seems like such a simple and careless state of existence to simply be. Clouds amaze me in more ways than I can begin to express.

The above quote, however, speaks to me because it's clearly the truth in my eyes. No matter what my mood is or what I am searching for I can always find my answers in the clouds. Sitting quietly under the sky, starring up at the clouds as they dance across the sky, always leaves me with an overwhelming calm and tranquil sensation. Watching the clouds constantly changing forms as different light produces a unique glow around the border allows me to use an open mindedness that may not always be present. Whether my thinking is blocked from stress or lack of insight, watching clouds gracefully move across the sky allows me to always find inspiration and answers within myself I never knew existed.

Clouds are truly the source of personal revelations in my eyes. Clouds in the day or night do not matter. Whether it is breezy or windy and even gray clouds versus billowing white clouds is of no importance. The natural life clouds have act as a source of insight I have yet to find in other places. Every time I gaze at the magnificence of clouds I am awestruck at just how powerful nature really is.

Next time you are stumped or feeling lost, maybe you just need to take a blanket out side and quietly gaze up at the sky for the answers. While I am sure it does not work for everyone, viewing nature at its absolute best is worth the time spent. You never know, the natural beauty of forces beyond our control and the tranquil sounds of nature may lead you to your own revelations in life. It never hurts to try.

The Bonds of Life

2010-03-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

I've heard all my life there's a special connection between parents and their children. I've also heard the bond between mothers and daughters is different than the bond between fathers and sons. The same goes for a mothers bond with her sons and a fathers bond with his daughters. I had always known there was a special bond between parents and their children. It's a love unlike any other and goes deeper than words can describe. However, I always remained skeptical about the bond which was said to be between one parent and a certain gender of child since we only have boys. That was until the other day when I actually saw it before my eyes.

With Spring now in the air, my family has been spending a lot of time outdoors doing typical family things- planting a garden, going for walks, playing, ect. I've been breathing in every moment we have been able to spend outdoors because in Arizona, this window of time doesn't last very long. I love that I can open the windows in the morning, let the fresh air in, and the boys can spend a day playing outside.

Well, a few evenings ago my boys were trying to play soccer as I sat on the patio watching them- since I'm 7 months pregnant soccer isn't exactly in my approved activity list. Their father came outside and began showing them the ropes to kicking a soccer ball. The boys picked it up much quicker than I had expected. Next, they moved on to playing catch and just throwing around a baseball.

The yard was radiating with laughter and smiles as I sat on watching my family play. Then I caught a glimpse of my boys faces, not just their smiles, but the meaning behind the light in their eyes. They weren't enjoying the time outside because of the great weather or the fact they were carelessly running around outside. No, it was the fact they were with their dad and that simple fact alone seemed more important, more precious than anything else in the world at that exact moment.

Their fathers' face was the exact same way. He wasn't glowing because he was teaching his kids a sport, but the fact he was simply with his kids and was the lucky individual that got to spend that time with them. It was pride in the fact HE was THEIR father. I know if I had been the one out there trying to teach them to kick the soccer ball it wouldn't have been the same experience for either side. It's not the fact it was sports, but the simple fact it was their daddy playing with them.

Although I know I'll never be able to share in special moments like this with my boys, I know I get to experience the same type of bonding moments, just in a different way. And although I know I'll never experience the special bond a mother has with a daughter, I remain completely content in the fact my boys have this bond with their father. I became very thankful that my boys had this opportunity to share this special moment with their dad. I was suddenly extremely relieved and grateful beyond words that the poor choices of my past had ended up working out so perfectly, not for myself, but for my boys-- who can spend the rest of their lives sharing in these hidden bonding moments with their dad.

Disconnected...

2010-03-17T06:03:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how much we lean on technology now and days to improve and maintain our lives. Technology is everywhere we look, making our lives easier and keeping us connected with one another. We often move through out our day to day lives not even giving our reliance on technology a second thought. Until that is, we are suddenly without it. Once we are deprived of our crutch on technology it's quite easy to become lost and to feel out of sorts. How did we come to this point where we can no longer function smoothly without the use of technology?

I was unaware of just how much I leaned on technology. I knew technology was a huge portion of my day to day life because I work online. Since I began working online I've become deeply entangled within multiple social media sites. This keeps me connected with a wide group of people--from friends and family to fellow writers and clients. I effortlessly breeze through out the day popping on and off the computer at my own leisure, balancing the life of a mother and writer.

A few days ago my world seemed to turn upside down completely. Without notice, my Internet went out completely. The first day it was mainly an annoyance that I couldn't work. I became increasingly frustrated that work was quickly piling up as I remained disconnected from my online world.

As the second day rolled around, my frustration turned into anger. I couldn't believe with the technology we now have the Internet could be down for 2 days without cause. As the day wore on I became increasing anxious as the Internet remained off. I felt oddly alone despite my kids running around. I quickly began to feel out of the loop with each hour I remained off line. It was very alarming to me the reaction I was having due to lose of my Internet service.

By day 3 of being disconnected, I was very upset to say the least. The main reason of course was because I had missed 3 days of work and I had no idea what was going on with my editors. But I was also upset with myself for relying on a luxury to the extent I have been.

I think we have lost sight that technology in life, such as satellite TV, Ipods, and the Internet, are simple luxuries. The world will still turn if all electronics fell off the face of the earth. The sun will still rise in the morning and fall at night without the use of a cell phone.

This experience has caused me to change my perspective on technology. I am now going to strive to at least once a week for a full day to turn the computer off. While it's very important to my career and my life, it's not an absolute must. I ask you all to do the same. Make a sacrifice for one day a week, or even one day a month to turn off one of your luxuries. I promise you it may be had but life will continue without the use of electronic devices.

Being True

2010-03-11T09:09:00.000-08:00

“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.”

Anonymous

It can be very difficult sometimes for people to embrace who they truly are. People view the differences that set us apart as a disability...something to hide. But in truth, those differences that set us apart are actually what makes each and every one of us so great. Without those differences, life and society would go no where. We need to learn to embrace what makes us different, no matter how vast those differences are, because that's what makes us so great.

I don't necessarily believe we were are created for a reason but I do believe we each have a purpose, a potential in life. The ability to recognize that purpose, that potential, is a very difficult task in its self. I think in order to find your purpose in life you must evaluate yourself. Reflecting on what sets you apart from everyone else will help you realize your own uniqueness. This uniqueness we all have is what makes each and every one of us so great. That uniqueness we all have is probably part of you because it involves your purpose in life. Embracing that uniqueness, those differences, are what moves the world forward by living up to your full potential.

The more people try to "normalize" themselves by hiding their differences, the more society struggles to move forward. Some where along the line it became taboo to be considered different. People that are "different" from the mainstream are looked down upon. Why is that? That difference we all have within us (whether we want to admit it or not) is actually a strength.

I encourage you all to embrace your differences, your strengths-- no matter how unique they are. By doing so, you will be helping all of humanity move forward. We must eliminate these barriers that have been created between the "normal" people and the "different" people in this world. Because if you really think about, being abnormal is normal.

When I am Gone...

2010-03-03T08:54:00.001-08:00

Everyone wants to be remembered for something when their life has become exhausted. It's a different experience for everyone. There are certain things I want to be remembered for when I'm no longer here. I build my life around these things, trying to stay on the correct path and fulfill what I want, I guess you could say, my legacy to be.

I think having a firm understanding about what I want to accomplish in my life time acts as a guide, or a pathway for me as I live my life. Although these things are constantly changing, there are a few things I want to be remembered for that will never change- such as not just being a good mother but a GREAT mother. Most of all, I don't want to be remember for wasting my short time on this Earth with things that don't matter, such as materialistic objects and wild nights on the street. I want my time spent on this Earth to mean something, no matter how great or small it turns out to be.

The most important thing I want to be remembered for is being a great mother. Nothing matters more to me than my children. I want to be known for doing everything possible for my children even if that means making sacrifices. I want to spend this time on Earth providing a path for my children to accomplish an amazing future. I want my children to know I gave everything for them to live "the good life" and they were always, always put first!

After my children, comes my family. I want to be remembered for being a very family oriented woman. If you have lost your family, you have lost everything. No one will stand behind you like family will. Sure every family has those selected few that contradict this, but the ones that really matter will always been there when no one else will. I want to make sure I enjoy every moment spent with my family because, let's face, it time is limited.

I want to be remembered for making the most of life. This involves making the most of the small moments in life, such as a beautiful sun set or the laughter of my children. I want it to be known I followed my dreams despite the world trying to hold me back. I want to be remembered for not being that person that stands on the back burner waiting for life to happen, but the person that goes out and seizes life by the horns and makes the most of it.

I never want to take a moment for granted and want to make the absolute most out of my time on Earth. Because our time is so limited here, there's not a second that goes by that should be spent on things that don't matter.

What are some of the things you would like to be remembered for?

**Edit**
Since writing this post, I have received a few emails and phone calls with some justified comments. I just want to clarify a little bit.

I am not preoccupied with death or plan on dieing anytime soon. My point simply is, if you know how you would like to be remember at a young age, it sets a sturdy path for you to follow. Life does not come with an instruction manual, but if you figure out where you want to end up, the path getting through life can be easier. Knowing how you want to be remember is a good manual to live your life by and will make you a better person in the process.

And, no I don't care about being remembered as a good wife. Being a wife is simply a title. I would rather be remembered for going through life with a strong partner, friend, and trusted companion that guides and supports me through out this journey than being remembered as a "good wife."

Imperfections in Life

2010-02-24T07:08:00.000-08:00

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
Anonymous

Here's another quote that got me thinking, (quotes have a habit of making me do that). I can relate to this quote in many ways.

As a teenager I thought how most teenagers thought. I'm sad to admit, but I was very judgmental. Judgmental not only about others, but myself as well. As I viewed the rest of humanity moving through out their day to day lives, I sat and wallowed in my depression because everyone and everything else seemed to be so perfect.

I couldn't understand back then why no one else had to experience what I experienced. I would hear about other's problems or concerns and think, "gee if only that was all I had to deal with than I would be set." What I didn't realize back then was the problems of my teen-aged years that seemed so enormous were actually just as minuscule as those of my peers.

As parenthood has a way of doing, my thinking began to change once I became a mother. I no longer focused on the imperfections in my life-- no matter how big or small they were. I no longer judged people or myself like I once had. Instead of dwelling on life's imperfections I learned to accept them.

Life's going to occur whether you like it or not. As life occurs some aspects of life will be great and other aspects of life will be... well, shitty. You must learn to embrace those great moments in life no matter how small they might be and simply learn to accept the less than enjoyable moments. Wallowing in life's imperfections will not change a thing, so why waste the energy and the emotions pitying yourself and your life when you could instead step past the darkness and open the blinds to let all the beautiful warmth of the sun shine in.

Changing Times

2010-02-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs when I came across Penny Full O'Thoughts post. She had a quote posted that day that stopped me dead in my tracks. I can't believe how accurate this Hebrew proverb is. I think every parent needs to hear it and fully understand the meaning behind it, so here it is:

"Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time."

Hebrew Proverb

I can't get over how much I connect with these few simple words. I think a huge aspect many parents over look is the fact times are constantly changing at an alarming rate. Ideas and concepts that applied to us when we were growing up will only be a distant memory to our children's generation. The concepts and ideas of our time will no longer relate to the current times. Many parents fail to realize how quickly times can change. Even now I can look back to 5 years ago at how things were to how they are now. While we will never truly be up to date with the changing times, it's vital to our children's success in life that we don't make them live in a distant memory.

Everything changes. Morals change. Values change. There's nothing that's not affected by the progress of man kind. Because of this simple act we can't control, we can't expect to allow our children to stay trapped in the same time period we were raised. If we do this, our children will be the one's affected. If they are raised with false misconceptions about the reality of the world and its every changing path, our children will enter the world unprepared and overwhelmed with the changes they themselves must make in order to adjust.

Basically, what I am saying is we can't limit our children to the normalcy's of our own childhood. In doing so, we can seriously effect the way our children succeed in life. I'm not saying there shouldn't be limitations to what our children experience through out childhood, but you must keep it real. The world changes so quickly that we as parents can not expect things to be the same for our kids as they were for us. We need to educate them and prepare them for what lies ahead. And, that can simply not be done raising them in the past.

Family

2010-02-11T09:15:00.000-08:00

I had a post completely written about about the importance of family. But when I went back to proof it, I felt I had not done the topic justice and I was unable to completely do the topic on the importance of family justice. So, I thought why not allow those that have already said it best, say in again. Here are some things about family I can relate to:

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~Author Unknown

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. ~Evan Esar

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. ~Ogden Nash

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. ~Erma Bombeck

When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses. ~Joyce Brothers

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu

What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories. ~George Eliot

The lack of emotional security of our American young people is due, I believe, to their isolation from the larger family unit. No two people - no mere father and mother - as I have often said, are enough to provide emotional security for a child. He needs to feel himself one in a world of kinfolk, persons of variety in age and temperament, and yet allied to himself by an indissoluble bond which he cannot break if he could, for nature has welded him into it before he was born. ~Pearl S. Buck

Over the Top Award

2010-02-09T07:17:00.000-08:00

Crystal from Crystal Clear Proofing has honored me with the award of owning an Over The Top blog. Along with the honor of receiving the award, you are suppose to pass it along to fellow bloggers you believe are Over the Top as well. Below are my picks, as well as a little info about myself that goes along with the award. Thanks again Crystal!

If you enjoy the blogs, please follow them because they truly are Over the Top

Crystal Clear Proofing

CC Chronicles

In Pursuit of Fulfillment

Thunder from a Quiet Storm

Life in a Snow Globe

Word, Once Written Have Life of Their Own

The Kerrie Show

Learn more about me. The rules are you can only use one word:

Your Hair? - brown

Your Favorite Food? - Pastas

Your Hobby? - Writing

Your Fear? - loss

Your pets? - dog

Something You Aren't? - normal

Where Did You Grow Up? - Califonia

Your Life? - hectic

Your Mood? - content

Your Favorite Color? - Black

Paths in Life

2010-02-05T18:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when we sit back in life and reflect on our youth, it can be shocking how we have deviated from our once set paths in life. Sometimes these path deviations are for the best, and sometimes they are unfortunately for the worst. As life most often is, nothing ever works out according to plan. We reach forks in the road through out our lives that can completely throw us off course from where we were once heading.

As a teenager, I LOVED cars. Don't get me wrong, I still have a deep passion for muscle cars. Nothing gets my blood flowing like the vibrations from a good hemi. While I was going through my teen-aged years, I had everything planned out as most teenagers do. I was going to attend a Los Angeles Auto Repair school to achieve a certification to work on cars. Later, I wanted to open my own repair shop-- including custom painting and auto parts. While I am still in love with the idea of one day having the time and money to rebuild old cars for my own personal gain, due to the changes in my path in life, I never made it to mechanical school and I couldn't imagine owning my own shop any more. Now, I see myself one day when I am a well published author with my garage set up in the back and my head under a 69' Shelby.

Another thing I was thrilled by as a teenager was speed. I had the need for speed! Ever since my dad took me driving for the first time in my moms' Ford Explorer, I knew I was meant to drive. I dreamed of the days I could take my rebuilt mustang down to the LACR race track and let the tires spin. Needless to say that didn't happen either. Currently, I have yet to get my drivers license and if I am in a car with my children and we are going over the speed limit, I have to struggle to contain myself from blowing a head gasket. While I do still enjoy the thrill of speed, it's now a completely different story than when I was younger. Thoughts rush through my head about my children and I am no longer able to enjoy it to the extent I use to.

It really amazes me sometimes just how far tiny deviations in our life's plans can really alter the path we eventually walk. Although I am no where near where I expected myself to be 5 years ago, I would not change a thing. Well, maybe I would add in a 67' camaro or a 69' mustang, but that's besides the point. Overall, I am completely satisfied with the way my plans in life have changed.

As My Father Once Said...

2010-01-27T16:16:00.000-08:00

As I have said before, a wise man once told me "character is not what you do when people are looking, but what you do and how you act when no one is around." The first time I heard this, I was sort of at a lost and did the age appropriate thing at that time and thought, "well, what the hell is that suppose to mean?"

As I have gotten older, and I have come across multiple types of people from many different backgrounds, I have come to learn the true meaning of these words.

The definition of character in the latest Websters dictionary is "moral excellence." While this is true, I don't think character can accurately be described in 2 simple words. Character runs so much deeper than just that of morals. Any one can have morals, but the ability to act and support those morals with honest actions is something entirely different.

I have ran across many people in my short time that have pretended to have morals, such as family, faith, and simple values. They would put forth these morals when around certain types of people, yet once those people's backs are turned and they are from ear shot, those morals fade away.

I use to think character was an acquired quality. A person of poor character can learn to improve their character through careful steps and correct guidance. Maybe I have become close minded in this area, but I now believe character is something you are born with. Or maybe it's something that is instilled into you at a young age.

I have learned it's rare to run across someone now and days that truly has good character. Not the character that is present in the company of others, but an overall goodness within these people. Although it rarely happens, when you run into theses true people with good character you instantly know it.

Now and days it seems like everyone pretends to have good character, but once in the privacy of their own home, only then do their true colors show. I have another name for these people, two-faced. Some may not agree with me, but when some one deliberately acts a certain way around certain people, what else is there left to call it?

Genuinely good people do not have to fake it. They are good at heart and good in nature. These are the types of people you want to surround yourself with. If I am mistaken, and character really is something that can be acquired throughout the years, then the only way to achieve it, is to learn it. And the only way to learn it, is to live it.

Living it requires a complete change of life style. Good people associate with good people. If you hope to change your character for the better, this is something you must do in order to grow as an individual.

If you don't have anything nice to say....

2010-01-20T16:08:00.000-08:00

One concept that was instilled into me by my parents was, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Um, maybe I am missing something, but whatever happened to that? It amazes me how rude people have become. I know it's expected because sadly, it's in a humans nature to be judgmental and well, lets face it, the morals and courtesies of the past are now fading. But, when you work in a professional environment with people that claim to be professionals, you would think this concept would apply.

I am absolutely fascinated at how adults can justify their rude behavior and comments. I agree everyone has a right to an opinion and should clearly be able to state them, but isn't there a right way and a wrong way to go about it? Whatever happened to etiquette for one another?

It's so surprising how people feel the need to jump in and be judgmental to situations that don't pertain to them. If you over hear something or read something and you disagree or are not even involved in the situation, then shouldn't you be able to just leave the situation well enough alone? Someone please explain to me the value and importance of these snide and cynical comments I keep reading and over hearing. Does it make someone feel better about themselves as a person to make these comments? Do the comments some how make you a better person?

I want everyone to understand, I am not venting here (well maybe a little) instead I am just trying to understand a dieing concept. Why doesn't anyone follow this simple concept anymore? Is it really so hard to keep your mouth shut if you have nothing nice or at least professional to say? I'm at a complete loss as to how this can now be classified as appropriate behavior.

So this is my point people, think before you speak! Choose your works well and choose your words wisely. You can still express yourself and your opinion without being rude and disrespectful. If you want people to perceive you in a higher light, then you have to present yourself as so. Simply put, have a little sympathy and compassion for your fellow species.

Optimistic Outlook

2010-01-07T15:11:00.000-08:00

For the New Year, I decided to increase my optimistic outlook on life. I already try to keep a positive attitude about life, but sometimes the worst of me gets a hold of the better half and can drag me down for a minute. I have been keeping this new, optimistic outlook going with full force. And, although it's only 7 days into the New Year, I can tell you I am already much, much happier and excited for the future. I can give you a couple of examples.

I decided this year was going to be my year to make a large leap ahead into the writing world. Although I am not sure how I am going to get there, I know it will happen. So far this year, I have taken multiple risks I normally would not have taken otherwise. And I must tell you, the results are far more than I expected. This new, increased positive energy is serving me very well in my career and I am already making large strides in the right direction. If I hadn't decided to start this new, increased optimistic outcome I would have never taken the leaps into the unknown as I have just done.

Another example I can give is actually very surprising to me. After my youngest son was born, I had longed for a daughter. I could not walk by the girls section in the store, or pass by a little girl without feeling an immense longing in my heart. I anxiously awaited my next ultrasound to tell me the longing would be over. What would I do with 3 boys?

Well, on the day of the ultrasound I found out, yes it was another boy. Instead of being extremely disappointed and upset because my longing for a daughter would never be fulfilled, I decided to change my outlook. This is a very healthy baby first of all. Gender does not matter as long as it is healthy.

Then, I got to doing some more prospective changing. 3 brothers will have so much fun growing up together and no one will feel singled out. Not to mention the financial aspect is decreased because we already have a good supply of boy stuff.

After changing my perspective I am actually a lot more excited about having another boy than I ever was at the thought of having a daughter. I am completely satisfied with the fact I will be a mother to 3 happy, healthy boys.

This increased optimistic outlook I have decided to get into has made a larger impact on my life than I thought. I NEVER expected the changes to be so drastic in such a short amount of time. I am so excited for what this year is going to hold for me and my family, and we are only 7 days into the New Year!

I encourage you all to give your optimism a boost this year. Even if it is just a trial run for a week, or a month, I promise you, your quality of life will improve. It is truly amazing how far a little attitude adjustment can get you. Join me on my journey this year to a more positive life!

Where Have All the Manners Gone?

2009-12-28T19:01:00.000-08:00

After doing our shopping this weekend something odd hit me, where have all the manners gone? The way I was raised was to have basic manners. You hold the door open for people, respect your elders, help people out without being asked, say thank you and please, the whole shabang.

It was just a natural reaction, when you see someone drop something, you pick it up and give it back. If an elderly lady is going through a door the same time as you, you hold the door open and let her go first. General manners that seem like they should occur without being said. Common knowledge right?

Well, apparently not. First, when I was leaving Walmart with my family, I saw a man walking perfectly fine walk up quickly, cut an elderly man (with a cane mind you) off and take the last motorized wheel chair. I couldn't believe it. My jaw dropped. The elderly man was clearly more in need of the chair than the other man yet it was rudely taken from him. It was even done in such a manner that because the elderly man moved too slow the other man had gotten to it first, and he clearly saw the elderly man was walking to it. It just leaves me pondering, what is wrong with people.

Later that day as my family and I entered the grocery store I saw a woman drop a $10 bill from her pocket. Another woman reached down and tapped the original woman on the shoulder and handed the money back. I watched in amazement because I couldn't believe I just saw a kind act for the first time in such a long time. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen someone do something nice like that. Most people would have pocketed it.

This leaves me wondering when did it become unusual to see acts of kindness? Shouldn't it be in our nature to do these simple acts of kindness? We should not be in awe when we see someone help a complete stranger out. How are we to move forward in life, in humanity, if we can not do these simple acts.

This leaves me to say, next time you see someone struggling to lift something, hang up the cell phone for a minute and help them out. If you are walking into the bank and some woman is juggling 3 kids, hold the door open. We need to get back to the point in society where rudeness is not tolerated. It all starts with one simple act. Teach your kids these general manners so they are not long lost in the future.

If a few people start to make these simple changes, it will have a chain reaction through out our families, communities, and society. By you taking the time to carry out a simple act you can brighten someones day, put a smile on someones face, and even change someones prospective on life. So please take the time to practice a few simple manners.

Changing the World with Passion

2009-12-14T05:27:00.000-08:00

“Passion is the element in which we live; without it, we hardly vegetate.”

Lord Byron

This is a great quote that speaks very true. You must have passions in life. Without passions your spirit can not feel whole. Having passions in life allows you to feel fulfilled and give you a reason to smile in the morning.

Finding your passions in life is fairly simple to do. All you have to do it look around. Things you are passionate about can come in many forms. Finding those passions usually is derived from inspiration. When a glimpse of inspiration presents its self, usually if the inspiration is strong enough it, will then transform into a passion.

Inspiration can occur anywhere and at any time. You need to have the ability to recognize it. Inspiration can take the form of a gentle breeze or even a lost child. Grabbing hold of these moments of inspiration and turning them into true passions can allow you to make a difference in this world.

Allowing yourself to carry passions with you through out life can make a huge difference to your contribution to the world. Things you are passionate about do not have to be big. It can be as simple as a passion for your family, or a passion to spread the beauty of nature. These small and simple passions make a huge difference in the foot prints we leave behind.

If everyone had at least one of these small passion, they would begin to add up, allowing the world to be transformed into a better place. It is amazing how a simple thing can not only have a huge impact on your life, but can create a snow balled reaction the affects the entire globe.

A life without passions, is really no life at all. Learn to recognize the moments of inspiration in life to allow yourself to fly with passion.

For those of you that have already found a passion in your life, what is is? How did you find that passion? Do you feel your life is better with that passion without it?

The Results of Negativity

2009-12-01T08:16:00.000-08:00

Negativity is an extremely powerful force. Whether you call it being pessimistic or seeing the glass half empty, negativity is very easy to become lost in. Negativity can be crushing. We can have a negative outlook without even realizing it. It is so easy to see all the bad things that occur around us. But it is not so easy to see life for the positives. As a good friend of mine always says, it is all about your perspective. This is 100% correct. If you change your perspective, you can truly change your life.

With the many bad things that occur around us, it can be so easy to slip away into the negativity. Allowing yourself to do this can make it seem like you are in a dark hole with no way out. This can easily lead to becoming lost and battling depression. Living with negativity is no way to live at all.

Whether you see it or not, there are good things, positive things, all around us. Have you even heard positive energy attracts more positive things than negative energy? This is absolutely true. Even in the most difficult of situations, all you have to do is stop and pause for a moment to view the good things around you.

I know from personal experience it can be almost impossible to see the positive in certain situations. I have been through times in my life where the bad forces in life piled onto each other under a crushing weight. It became almost unbearable to continue with all the horrible things happening. Then one day I woke up and realized things were not that bad. I had my children, who were healthy, we were all happy, and we were all together. It did not matter we were not living in the best conditions. It didn't not matter we were struggling to support ourselves. Those were just material things. What mattered is we are a family and we loved each other.

When you think there is no light at the end of the tunnel, maybe it is time for you to stop and rub your eyes one more time. Even the smallest glimpse of light, or hope, can lead you to places in life you never expected to reach. Positive things, good things, are every where you look. You just need to change your outlook, change your perspective, and keep moving forward.

Once you challenge yourself, and become determined to only pay attention to the things in life that truly matter, will you ever be satisfied with where you are in life. I have learned through out the years, that even the most darkest of times will pass. Everything happens for a reason. If one door, or even two doors close for you, another will open, even if it takes a while. You just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep on going. Life has a funny way of always working out in the end.

Influential People

2009-11-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

Through out life many people come and go. Some people walk into your life only briefly and then disappear right back out again. Other times, someone may come into your life that will stick around for a while. Rarely, someone will come into your life that truly changes who you are, preferably for the better. These people can come in many forms. You must be able to properly recognize these people for what and who they are. Sometimes the magnitude of the affects these people have on who you are may not become apparent for some time. These people that affect you so greatly are few and far between, but once one does come your way it is important to not take a second for granted. What you learn from these people, including things you never knew about yourself, are concepts, emotions, and knowledge that can not be taught in a book or a value that is instilled in you. The only way to learn from these people comes from deep within yourself. These people often come into your life when you least expect it and often when you need it the most.

Through out my 22 yrs of life, I can say I have only met 3 people that have caused me to grow and learn more about myself than I had ever thought. 2 of these people have turned into life long friendships that have truly changed who I am for the better. The other person was only part of my life for a brief moment but had a larger effect on discovering who I was as a person more than any other personal journey I ever could have taken.

It is very important that when these people come into your life you cherish every moment and pay careful attention. It may take some reflection to truly discover the lessons learned from them. In a split second these people can be gone, but their influence and lessons will forever remain inside your soul.

Stepping from the Darkness

2009-11-05T16:16:00.000-08:00

“As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery… we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.”
Dalai Lama

When I first began writing this blog post, I had a certain topic stuck in my mind for the past two days. The thoughts had been haunting, yet I just couldn't seem to get them out of my head and into visible words. This has been frustrating me for the past couple days. I shared my frustration with a good friend who suggested I try looking at thinkexist.com to help get my thoughts rolling. Surprisingly, it had worked but not quite in the way I had hoped. As I was reading through the many quotes on the site, I ran across the one above. It seemed to call to me. I think because I could relate to it so very much.

Through out most of my adolescence I had suffered with severe depression. I kept it to myself for many years, hidden with a mask on my face. Once I was just about at the end of my rope, did I open up and let others in to try and help me. Through out all those years I looked at life noting all the things I had lacked. I would always think to myself, if only I had this, or if only I hadn't done that then I would not be as depressed as I was. For years I struggled to find the meaning of happiness until I had one day given up. I began to believe happiness was nothing but an illusion. My many years of searching to try and find happiness can to an abrupt halt. I had given up and I thought I was destined to spend the rest of my life stuck in darkness.

In an instant everything changed. Only July 19th, 2005 I got to hold my son for the first time. As I held him while he was attached to all the tubes and wires from the incubator I stared into his little eyes and thought I never wanted him to feel how I felt for even one second in his life. From that moment of, my life seemed to changed. As I took a deep breath in, with this tiny child in my arms, the darkness lifted and has never returned.

In the 4 years and three months since that moment has happened, I have taken the emotional journey of a life time. Although I still had many of those thoughts for a while, I told myself I have this beautiful little baby, what more do I ever need. Once I began letting go of the anger I had felt towards the world and life in general that I had been holding onto for so long, did I come to realize, happiness is not something you can grab, or create. Happiness must come from within. Once you are content with yourself, only then can you truly be happy.

This thing, this concept that I had been searching for, for so many years, I had unexpectedly stumbled upon. Once I realized what true happiness was, I was able to let go of all the regrets and bad choices I had made in my life and accept them. I learned to embrace all those things I had been bottling up inside. I learned without all those dark experiences I would not be who I am today. I would not be as strong or as wise as I am today.

Most important of all, I learned happiness is not an illusion as I had thought but a state of being. You can not find happiness in material objects or in unrealistic dreams of fascinations. But happiness is all around. Not only in yourself but in the world its self. It is in the morning sun rise, the sparkle of my children's eyes, the smell of a fresh rain, and every other of the natural sense I am lucky enough to experience.

Once you stop looking for happiness, only then can you truly find it and know what it really means.

The Long Absence

2009-11-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

It has been quite a while since I have last blogged. Many things have happened over the past month that has (unfortunately) caused me to push my blogging off as a lack of priority. But today is a new day and I am determined to get back on track. I will try to catch up with every ones blogs this week. Sorry for my long absence, here is a slight update on why.

Well, we found out our family is going to be expanding. We will be expecting our 3rd child next year. Unfortunately, it has thrown many unexpected health related curve balls at us. This is a large reason I have been absent from the blogging world. It has caused my priorities to shuffle, but now that things are calming down, I can get back on track.

Another reason I have disappeared for some time is because I have put so much work on my self and have taken on way to much for the past year I finally crushed under the weight and just needed a break. It was a very lazy month for me in October, but it was a much needed break.

Thanks to this break, I woke up this morning feeling energized to get back on track and caught up on work. It is a good feeling to be full of energy. It is important to remember that no matter how much you have on your plate, you must stop every once in a while to breath and enjoy the important things in life.

I have a ton of work to catch up on, including blogvertise, so if you notice a bunch of weird posts over the next week, just ignore them. Until next time....

Just a Thought...

2009-10-08T14:19:00.000-07:00

The philosophy of mine earth can be summed up as this: Sunshine creates happiness, and I create myself. Nights are long and life is predominantly good. Wind is refreshing. Tea is wisdom. Do the best you can, and be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others.

~Jessi Lane Adams

Life's Curve Balls

2009-10-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

Every so often, life throws you a curve ball that is a little more unexpected than most of the curve balls in life. Most of the time they just create tiny ripples in our life that can almost go unnoticed. But sometimes they are more severe and can cause us to loose our balance.

When these curve balls appear, there is not very much you can do to avoid them or hide from them. You just have to put your strongest foot forward and take it in stride. By keeping your feet planted firmly your are more likely to overcome it with positive results.

Once these curve balls appear, the tiny ripples in our life that usually occur no long seem so severe. Stressing out over these new obstacles in life does no one any good. The best thing you can do is stay positive and keep moving forward.

See You Later Summer....

2009-09-26T17:46:00.000-07:00

The intensely hot days of summer are finally coming to an end. The monsoon season has moved on and will be missed until it returns next year. Each day the temperature drops a couple degrees as you feel the summer weather continue to fade away.

Though summer is rather uncomfortable, we have made many great memories this summer. Fun days in the pool, weekends at the lake, and countless BBQ's. This summer has been full of new experiences and new adventures. We have celebrated 2 birthdays, welcomed a new member into out home, went to many events in town, and endless water fights. Summer will be missed.

Although summer will be missed, I look forward to the start of fall. The many vivid colors of Fall the cover the trees and lawns. The weather cools to become bearable until the wind begins to set in. The constant wind that never leaves until spring reappears next year.

The cooler temperatures will be nice. It will be great to take the kids outside to play before winter arrives. Plus they will no longer burn in the heat. This fall will be full of fun evenings at the park and spending days outside.

This weekend we are having a BBQ to say farewell to summer for another year.

Its That Time of Year

2009-09-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year, football season is here. I enjoy a good game of football, and even watching football. However, I live with a man that is obsessed with it. This means until the Super Bowl is over, guess what is on my TV 24/7? Thats right foot ball.

Last football season we were living primitive and only had an antenna for TV. So I only had to watch football once a week. Now that we have Direct TV satellite TV, it is on all the time. And I do mean ALL the time.

Since DirectTV offers numerous sports packages, my fiance can now sit there and watch numerous games at once, every day of the week. Now my week nights are dedicated to sitting there watching numerous football games. Don't get me wrong, I watch the Super Bowl every year, and usually watch the games on Sunday, but I think I am getting a little football burned out. And the season has just barely started.

I guess my TV shows will sit on the back burner for a while since my fiance has taken over the directv remote. Now if only they came up with the same packages available with Desperate Housewives, as they have with the sports channel.

Hiding in a Hole

2009-09-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

So much to accomplish everyday that life starts to weigh down on me. Life as a mother, wife, writer, and student can be a crushing weight to hold up. But it has to be done. Some days I wish I could hide from reality and just take a break. Crawl into a hole and hide for a few hours to get away from the chaos. But then I remember why I am doing it all.

The exhaustion can sometimes get the better of me and I just fall into a zombie like state. A couple hours of rest and I must start the hectic routine I have all over again. Although it can be beyond exhausting, I would not change anything. However, if I had more hours in the day that would definitely be nicer.

The Storms Intensity

2009-09-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

An exhausting week of work is about to come to an end as I finally climb into the bed. Letting my body fall into the pillow to finally catch up on some much needed sleep. As I begin to drift off, an unusual and haunting wind can be heard out side. Another monsoon storm must be blowing in and I fade into sleep. The wind becomes persistent gaining its aggressiveness, waking me from my coma-like sleep. I finally sit up realizing this is no ordinary wind.

As I begin to get out of bed, the windows of the house fill with the flashes of bright lightening. before I get to the bedroom door, my youngest son beats me to it. He is scared. A few seconds later I hear the cry of my oldest son down the hall. I tell them to sit on the couch, it is just a storm.

After calming them down I walk to the door to see why the wind is sounding so haunting. I quickly realize this is no ordinary storm. It is almost midnight but the sky is lit to an unnatural and ominous red. The constantly flashing of lighting consumes the sky. The booms of the thunder are strong enough to shake the floor. The wind outside is blowing the rain completely side ways, as large chunks of hail begin to clatter on the porch.

I quickly shut the door an turn on the weather channel to see what we are in for. Before I have a chance to see, a bone shaking boom of thunder echos through the house as clashes of lightening surround every window. Instant darkness as the power goes out not even a second after.

The howling wind out outside is so strong it actually feels like the house is going to lift. The hail and rain pound the windows relentlessly as I hope our old single pained windows do not break. The wind sounds like it is peeling our roof off at the leaks above begin to drip. The thunder, lightening, and hail intensify as the thought of if it is possible for a tornado to hit the desert. This continues for three hours as my children huddle next to each other on the couch for support.

Once the wind has finally calmed, and the rain decreases to a drizzle it is nearly 3 AM. I know there is no chance of sleep tonight because my children are petrified with fear. A camp out in the living room as I try to soothe my children to sleep. I lay in the recliner hoping to catch a few minutes of sleep before the sun rises.

Storms aftermath:
- at least 6 injured
- mobile homes blown over

Within Reach

2009-09-02T07:55:00.000-07:00

A long awaited dream may finally come true. It is now within reach, not far from becoming a reality. A longing that has left a void in our family may finally be completed. A weight will be lifted as the stress of worry will no longer be in effect. Once the dream is achieved, it will be a difficult task ahead of us. Welcoming a child into our home that we have longed for. It feels like an eternity to make this dream real. Although there is concern over the obstacles we face. She is not a stranger to us, but to her, she never even know we existed.